Grumpy? Nah. Just Allergic To Bullsh*t

Side effects reported by customers

TAP HIS KNOWN ALLERGENS

Read his label

Tap everything he cannot stand. The label fills in as you go.

Excuses
Sales pitches, especially “free” ones
Meetings that could have been a phone call
“The roof was fixed last year”
A clerk explaining his own hammer
“Trust me”

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THE CHURCH BASEMENT

The roof was fixed last year

A grey-haired woman in the navy tee in a church basement, a bucket under a ceiling leak behind her

“You seem grumpy,” a friend said over the coffee urn. “Nah. He said the roof was fixed last year,” she said, looking at the bucket under the leak.

Water plinked into the bucket through the whole meeting. It is not a lecture or a complaint. It is a short answer to a familiar question.

GIVING IT TO SOMEONE?

For the one everybody calls grumpy

A man lifting the forest green tee out of a gift box while his wife laughs, the black cap in the box

Good for birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas and retirement parties.
The cap is one size with a metal buckle, so there is no size to guess.
Tee and sweatshirt come in S to 5XL, the jacket in S to 2XL.
At the door in 5-7 business days in the US.

THE DENIM JACKET

The answer, on his back

He still counts his change before he leaves the counter. The whole design is printed large across the back, not embroidered: GRUMPY? NAH. JUST ALLERGIC TO BULLSH*T. The front is plain medium-wash denim with metal buttons and four pockets.

THE FULL LINE OF WARNINGS

Four pieces, one design

No. 1 The Cap For the hardware store, the meeting and the porch.$29.50
No. 2 The Tee For every conversation that could have been shorter.$29.50
No. 3 The Sweatshirt Warm, soft, still not buying it.$42.50
No. 4 The Denim jacket The whole answer, printed on the back.$99.00

Good questions

How do the offers work?

Put any 2 pieces in your cart and shipping is free. Put in any 3 and you also get 15% off. It is applied in the cart, no code needed. Other designs count too.

I am buying it as a gift. Which piece is safest?

The cap: it is one size with an adjustable metal buckle that fits 22.8 to 24 inches. For the tee or sweatshirt, tap “Size guide” next to the size box.

Is the jacket design on the front or the back?

On the back, printed large. The front is plain denim with metal buttons and two chest pockets.

When will it arrive?

US delivery takes 5-7 business days. Every piece is printed and shipped from the USA.

What if something is wrong with my order?

You are covered by our 30-day defect and print guarantee. Email cs@oldmanism.com and we will make it right.