{"product_id":"sets-off-metal-detectors-t-shirt","title":"\"Sets Off Metal Detectors - Ask Me Why\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn 1994, the porch light came on while you were still watering the tomatoes. The knee with the plate made the three steps inside feel longer than they were. By the end of the evening news, an ice pack had soaked through a dish towel on the sofa. You switched off the lamp and went to bed, one stair at a time. That is the idea behind it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe line works because “Ask Me Why” lets the person with the knee plate tell the story on their own terms. Anyone with screws in a joint reads it and nods, as do the people who watched them learn stairs again. The metal detector gets the first laugh. It is not a lecture or a complaint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/design_lifestyle_5fda18a6-3e50-455e-b676-33a979e95d2a.png?v=1793443772\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCotton with some backbone left:\u003c\/b\u003e The t-shirt is 100% pre-shrunk cotton, soft and durable. A line about getting on with things belongs on a shirt that can do the same.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eA fit that takes it easy:\u003c\/b\u003e It has a relaxed classic fit. No need for the shirt to make a fuss when the knee has that covered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eStitches that hold their ground:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching is built to last. The joke should stick around longer than the next appointment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eNo scratch added to the story:\u003c\/b\u003e The label is tag-free, so there is no itching. That knee has supplied enough irritation already.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe joke starts here at home:\u003c\/b\u003e The t-shirt is printed and shipped from the USA. The metal detector and the explanation can wait until it arrives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/set-pair_60528247-1c22-4ea6-a91c-c339efac8518.png?v=1793443918\" alt=\"Matching set: Sets Off Metal Detectors - Ask Me Why vintage washed cap and Sets Off Metal Detectors - Ask Me Why vintage t-sh\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eA gift for anyone who knows why it beeps:\u003c\/b\u003e Good for grandpas and grandmas, for birthdays and Christmas, any occasion where the best gift is a laugh about the metal in their knee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe porch light’s on. Take the stairs slow.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67822110114025,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67822110146793,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67822110179561,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67822110212329,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67822110245097,"sku":null,"price":30.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67822110277865,"sku":null,"price":31.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":67822110310633,"sku":null,"price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":67822110343401,"sku":null,"price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":67822110376169,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":67822110408937,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":67822110441705,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":67822110474473,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":67822110507241,"sku":null,"price":30.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":67822110540009,"sku":null,"price":31.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":67822110572777,"sku":null,"price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":67822110605545,"sku":null,"price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":67822110638313,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":67822110671081,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":67822110703849,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":67822110736617,"sku":null,"price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":67822110769385,"sku":null,"price":30.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":67822110802153,"sku":null,"price":31.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":67822110834921,"sku":null,"price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":67822110867689,"sku":null,"price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/design_black_mockup_06998e27-3213-415e-b19c-7c6061e6a1b1.png?v=1793443772","url":"https:\/\/oldmanism.com\/products\/sets-off-metal-detectors-t-shirt","provider":"Oldmanism","version":"1.0","type":"link"}