{"product_id":"retired-rebuilt-vintage-tee","title":"\"Retired \u0026 Rebuilt. Runs on Coffee, Spite and Replacement Parts\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eForty-some years of showing up. Early. On time. Through the nonsense and the weather and the quarterly reports nobody asked for. You kept the machine running. Now the machine runs on its own terms - coffee in the morning, spite when required, and whatever parts still have mileage left on them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis funny retired t-shirt for men isn't about slowing down. It's an honest inventory. Rebuilt, not retired out. Some components have been replaced. The core still holds. You know which parts those are - and so does everyone who's worked alongside you long enough to find out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_12_18_24_PM.png?v=1777541416\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium soft cotton:\u003c\/strong\u003e Preshrunk, comfortable from the first wear. Not stiff, not thin. Built for a man who's done putting up with things that don't work right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVintage-style distressed print:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"Retired. Rebuilt. Runs On Coffee, Spite and Replacement Parts.\" Reads like a service record. Wears like a badge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex classic fit, S–5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Relaxed fit through the chest and shoulders. Good for the garage, the porch, or anywhere a man with full operational status ends up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirect-to-garment print:\u003c\/strong\u003e Holds up through the wash. The message doesn't degrade. Neither do you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/strong\u003e American-made. Runs well. Low maintenance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_04_10_56_PM.png?v=1777541416\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA grumpy old man shirt that hits right as a retirement gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e For dad, grandpa, or the husband who put in the decades and came out the other side with a sense of humor about it. Works for a retirement party, a birthday, or Father's Day - for any man who'd rather laugh at the mileage than pretend it isn't there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStill running. Ask nicely and he might tell you what's been replaced.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50930254840041,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50930254872809,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50930254905577,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50930254938345,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50930254971113,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50930255003881,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50930255036649,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50930255069417,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50930255102185,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50930255134953,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50930255167721,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50930255200489,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930255233257,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930255266025,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930255298793,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930255331561,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930255364329,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930255397097,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930255429865,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930255462633,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930255495401,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930255528169,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930255560937,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930255593705,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_9c07f9f2-fa26-49b2-99c4-73a3c6b0a57e.png?v=1777001200","url":"https:\/\/oldmanism.com\/products\/retired-rebuilt-vintage-tee","provider":"Oldmanism","version":"1.0","type":"link"}