{"product_id":"retired-rebuilt-grumpy-old-man-cap","title":"\"Retired \u0026 Rebuilt. Runs on Coffee, Spite and Replacement Parts\" Vintage Washed Cap","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou survived the alarm clocks, the commutes, the quarterly reviews, and forty-odd years of nodding politely at things that deserved a different reaction. Now you run on coffee, spite, and whatever parts still work. Sounds about right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis funny grumpy old man cap doesn't ask you to mellow out. Some men do. Some don't. You know which kind you are. Retired and rebuilt - not slowed down, just reorganized. Running leaner, maybe. Still running.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_04_10_41_PM.png?v=1777541415\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium vintage washed denim:\u003c\/strong\u003e Broken-in feel right out of the box. Because you've put in enough time breaking things in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFade-proof print: \u003c\/strong\u003e\"Retired \u0026amp; Rebuilt. Runs on Coffee, Spite and Replacement Parts.\" Stays sharp through seasons of wear. Unlike patience, this doesn't fade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable metal buckle: \u003c\/strong\u003eFits 22.8\"–24\". Comfortable all day. Even on the days that start at 5 a.m. for no good reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable ventilation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lightweight, sweatband included. Your head stays cool even when the rest of the world tests you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/strong\u003e By people who showed up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_04_26_18_PM.png?v=1777541416\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA solid retirement gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e For the dad, grandpa, or husband who's earned the right to say exactly what's fueling him. Great for a birthday, Father's Day, or the retirement party of any man who's done pretending.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome guys age gracefully. This cap is for the other kind.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":50909486383337,"sku":"6294880419","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy","offer_id":50909486416105,"sku":"7487342963","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Wine Red","offer_id":50909486448873,"sku":"2115594586","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_5_e4513f24-ded7-477b-9812-9b15c8513624.png?v=1776851332","url":"https:\/\/oldmanism.com\/products\/retired-rebuilt-grumpy-old-man-cap","provider":"Oldmanism","version":"1.0","type":"link"}