{"product_id":"funny-retirement-t-shirt-7-day-weekend","title":"\"Retired. Living the 7-Day Weekend. No Alarm Clock Needed\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eRetirement gets real the first morning you wake up and realize there is nowhere you have to be.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat is why this shirt works. It is not just saying someone retired. It is saying the schedule lost. The line turns retirement into a plain little luxury most working people understand right away: every day starts on your terms now. The broken old alarm clock underneath backs that up without needing much explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/2_ed49bd9f-8443-47fa-907c-7f52014a533d.jpg?v=1785922498\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eMade for unscheduled days:\u003c\/b\u003e This 5.3 oz tee is cut from 100% US-grown cotton, soft enough for all-day wear and solid enough for the kind of shirt that ends up in regular rotation once the clock stops running your life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe joke reads fast:\u003c\/b\u003e The smooth cotton surface keeps the front print sharp, which matters here because the whole point is that the big 7-Day Weekend payoff and the finished-with-alarms attitude land in one quick look.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eEasy fit, no ceremony:\u003c\/b\u003e The classic relaxed fit and crew neckline suit the kind of retirement this shirt is talking about: coffee first, errands later, maybe not at all. Sizes run from S to 5XL.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBuilt like a keeper:\u003c\/b\u003e Tubular knit construction means no side seams, shoulder tape helps the shirt hold up over time, and the ribbed collar keeps its shape through repeat wear, washes, and a lot of ordinary days that no longer need planning.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eNothing scratchy to put up with:\u003c\/b\u003e The tear-away label keeps the inside clean and comfortable, which feels right for a shirt built around being done with small daily annoyances.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Each tee is printed and fulfilled in the USA with dependable production standards and a clear, durable finish that suits a shirt meant to be worn often, not saved for one joke.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eGift idea:\u003c\/b\u003e A strong retirement gift for a dad, husband, grandpa, coworker, or friend who has fully embraced the fact that the alarm clock no longer gets a vote.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome people count retirement in years. This one counts it in mornings.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":51619192996073,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":51619193028841,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":51619193061609,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":51619193094377,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":51619193127145,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":51619193159913,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":51619193192681,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":51619193225449,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":51619192733929,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":51619192766697,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":51619192799465,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":51619192832233,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":51619192865001,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":51619192897769,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":51619192930537,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":51619192963305,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":51619193258217,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":51619193290985,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":51619193323753,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":51619193356521,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":51619193389289,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":51619193422057,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":51619193454825,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":51619193487593,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_aeed729a-b50e-4a1f-b47a-28d1e343926a.png?v=1785921303","url":"https:\/\/oldmanism.com\/products\/funny-retirement-t-shirt-7-day-weekend","provider":"Oldmanism","version":"1.0","type":"link"}