{"product_id":"funny-retirement-sweatshirt-outlived-100000-mile-warranty","title":"\"Retired Outlived My 100,000 Mile Warranty\" Vintage Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome folks make retirement sound like the finish line. This one sounds more like passing inspection after everyone assumed you'd be done by now.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis sweatshirt works because it treats age the way old car people talk about a machine that kept going long after the factory promise ran out. Retired sets the stage, the classic car gives the joke its proof, and outlived my 100,000 mile warranty turns the whole thing into a dry little brag. Not broken down. Just still running past expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/3_3a266075-3d4e-41aa-a439-4a80695e9866.jpg?v=1785405953\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eStill holding together nicely:\u003c\/b\u003e The 50\/50 cotton-poly blend and medium-heavy 8.0 oz fabric give this sweatshirt the kind of solid feel that suits a line about lasting beyond the number on the paperwork.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eEasy fit for a man not proving anything anymore:\u003c\/b\u003e The classic fit and crew neckline make it simple to throw on over a tee, under a jacket, or wear as-is when the day calls for comfort instead of ceremony.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe mileage joke needs to read fast:\u003c\/b\u003e The smooth fleece surface helps the big headline, the car graphic, and that warranty payoff stay sharp at a glance, because the design only really lands when all three parts register together.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eClean build, no extra nonsense:\u003c\/b\u003e Tubular knit construction means no side seams, which keeps the sweatshirt more comfortable and gives the front design a cleaner, straighter presentation.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBuilt for repeat miles:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching at the shoulders, armholes, neckline, waistband, and cuffs adds the kind of reinforcement that fits a piece built around staying power.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKeeps its shape better than some old vehicles do:\u003c\/b\u003e The ribbed collar, cuffs, and waistband help it hold together through regular wear, which suits a joke based on outlasting the expected service life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eNothing scratchy to put up with:\u003c\/b\u003e The tear-away label makes it easier to wear all day, which feels right for a sweatshirt aimed at people with no patience left for unnecessary irritation.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Printed in the USA and fulfilled domestically, with dependable quality and a straightforward turnaround.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eA strong gift for the high-mileage legend:\u003c\/b\u003e Great for retirees, car guys, dads, husbands, grandpas, brothers, or anyone who enjoys the idea that a few extra miles are something to be proud of. Fits retirement parties, birthdays, Father’s Day, Christmas, or a just-because gift with a little mechanical wit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePast warranty. Still in service.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":51576965071081,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":51576965103849,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":51576965136617,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":51576965169385,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":51576965202153,"sku":null,"price":39.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":51576965234921,"sku":null,"price":40.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":51576965267689,"sku":null,"price":41.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":51576965300457,"sku":null,"price":42.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":51576965333225,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":51576965365993,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":51576965398761,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":51576965431529,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":51576965464297,"sku":null,"price":39.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":51576965497065,"sku":null,"price":40.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":51576965529833,"sku":null,"price":41.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":51576965562601,"sku":null,"price":42.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":51576965595369,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":51576965628137,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":51576965660905,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":51576965693673,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":51576965726441,"sku":null,"price":39.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":51576965759209,"sku":null,"price":40.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":51576965791977,"sku":null,"price":41.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":51576965824745,"sku":null,"price":42.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Front_1_571ef8e5-032d-49ab-8666-2036349f1039.jpg?v=1785405103","url":"https:\/\/oldmanism.com\/products\/funny-retirement-sweatshirt-outlived-100000-mile-warranty","provider":"Oldmanism","version":"1.0","type":"link"}