{"product_id":"funny-retired-sweatshirt-ceo-of-doing-nothing","title":"\"Retired. Full-time CEO of Doing Nothing\" Vintage Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eRetirement changes a man's schedule, but it does not usually make him less committed. It just changes what he is committed to.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis sweatshirt lands because it treats doing nothing like a proper promotion. Retired sets the stage, full-time CEO makes it sound official, and doing nothing delivers the whole joke with the kind of confidence only a retired person can get away with. The framed badge layout helps too. It reads less like a throwaway gag and more like an earned title nobody can revoke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/2_56613e3e-cc5e-4dce-8335-8e1765ed1a79.jpg?v=1785405085\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eOfficially off duty:\u003c\/b\u003e The 50\/50 cotton-poly blend and medium-heavy 8.0 oz fabric give this sweatshirt enough substance to suit a line that sounds like a new position, not a passing mood.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eEasy to wear with no meeting required:\u003c\/b\u003e The classic fit and crew neckline make it simple to throw on over a tee, under a jacket, or straight out the door for coffee, errands, porch time, or a day with absolutely nothing planned.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe joke works best when it reads fast:\u003c\/b\u003e The smooth fleece surface helps the bold stacked wording and plaque-style layout stay sharp at a glance, because this one is funniest when people catch the title before they ask what you've been up to.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eClean structure, clean message:\u003c\/b\u003e Tubular knit construction means no side seams, which keeps the feel more comfortable and lets the front design sit clean without unnecessary fuss.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eBuilt for regular rotation:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching at the shoulders, armholes, neckline, waistband, and cuffs gives it the kind of durability that fits a sweatshirt likely to become part of the weekly retired uniform.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKeeps its shape without trying too hard:\u003c\/b\u003e Ribbed collar, cuffs, and waistband help everything hold together through repeat wear, which suits a joke about someone who has finally stopped pretending to be busy.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eNo scratchy nonsense:\u003c\/b\u003e The tear-away label keeps it easier to wear all day, which feels about right for a title built around doing less, not tolerating more.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Printed in the USA and fulfilled domestically with dependable turnaround, so the quality feels as steady as the message.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eA strong retirement gift:\u003c\/b\u003e Great for retirees, dads, husbands, grandpas, brothers, coworkers, or friends who have fully stepped into the no-rush part of life. Fits retirement parties, birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas, or a just-because laugh after the last day on the job.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA fine title. Very little paperwork.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":51576950391017,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":51576950423785,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":51576950456553,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":51576950489321,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":51576950522089,"sku":null,"price":39.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":51576950554857,"sku":null,"price":40.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":51576950587625,"sku":null,"price":41.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":51576950620393,"sku":null,"price":42.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":51576950128873,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":51576950161641,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":51576950194409,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":51576950227177,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":51576950259945,"sku":null,"price":39.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":51576950292713,"sku":null,"price":40.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":51576950325481,"sku":null,"price":41.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":51576950358249,"sku":null,"price":42.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":51576950653161,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":51576950685929,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":51576950718697,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":51576950751465,"sku":null,"price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":51576950784233,"sku":null,"price":39.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":51576950817001,"sku":null,"price":40.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":51576950849769,"sku":null,"price":41.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":51576950882537,"sku":null,"price":42.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Front_2_aec851cf-9d99-4e14-ab6a-acb92ae38fd5.jpg?v=1785404160","url":"https:\/\/oldmanism.com\/products\/funny-retired-sweatshirt-ceo-of-doing-nothing","provider":"Oldmanism","version":"1.0","type":"link"}