{"product_id":"allergic-to-bs-funny-vintage-tee","title":"\"Grumpy? Nah. Just Allergic to BS\" Funny No-Nonsense Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eHe's not grumpy. He's just been paying attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSixty-some years of watching people say one thing and do another will recalibrate a man's tolerance levels. His are now set to zero. Not because he's angry. Because he's done the math, and the math keeps coming up the same way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis funny no-nonsense shirt for men is for the guy who stopped pretending a long time ago. He doesn't need a filter. He's already filtered out everything that wasn't worth keeping. What's left is straight talk, low patience for nonsense, and a surprisingly good sense of humor about all of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/5_a2704818-b2ab-4c61-82e2-a0ec1564a959.jpg?v=1781689283\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium soft cotton, preshrunk:\u003c\/strong\u003e Comfortable and direct. Like the man wearing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBold vintage print:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"Grumpy? Nah, Just Allergic to BS\" in retro type that says exactly what it means. No fine print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex classic fit, sizes S to 5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Fits the full range of men who've run out of time for nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirect-to-garment print:\u003c\/strong\u003e Won't crack or fade. Stays honest wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable:\u003c\/strong\u003e Simple care instructions for a man who doesn't read instructions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/strong\u003e No middlemen. No runaround.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA dead-on birthday or Father's Day gift for: \u003c\/strong\u003eThe dad, grandpa, or husband who's been diplomatically allergic to B.S. for decades and finally has a shirt that admits it. Buy it for the man in your life who says what he means and means what he says.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome men mellow with age. He just got more accurate.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":51283855311081,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":51283855343849,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":51283855376617,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":51283855409385,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":51283855442153,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":51283855474921,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":51283855507689,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":51283855540457,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":51283855573225,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":51283855605993,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":51283855638761,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":51283855671529,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":51283855704297,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":51283855737065,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":51283855769833,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":51283855802601,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":51283855835369,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":51283855868137,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":51283855900905,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":51283855933673,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":51283855966441,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":51283855999209,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":51283856031977,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":51283856064745,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_31439d40-8653-4aea-a0c8-944a04d1c3a8.png?v=1781688275","url":"https:\/\/oldmanism.com\/products\/allergic-to-bs-funny-vintage-tee","provider":"Oldmanism","version":"1.0","type":"link"}