{"title":"Vintage T-Shirt","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"i-see-no-good-reason-to-act-my-age-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"I See No Good Reason To Act My Age\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eGrowing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e Society expects you to slow down, be serious, and act your age. But where is the fun in that? This shirt is for the rebels who refuse to let a number on a birthday cake dictate their personality. It celebrates the fact that you still laugh at silly jokes, enjoy a good prank, and have more energy than people half your age. You are not immature; you are just keeping the spirit alive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_xg4gp0xg4gp0xg4g.png?v=1764336309\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality printing that keeps the fun going for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton that is soft enough for naps but durable enough for adventures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A loose, comfortable cut that lets you move freely. No restrictions here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching ensures this shirt can keep up with your active lifestyle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching or itching to ruin your good mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the perfect gift for the fun-loving grandpa, the dad who is basically a big kid, or anyone who believes that laughter is the best medicine. It is a guaranteed hit for birthdays, retirement parties, or just to make people smile at the grocery store.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eAge is just a number. Fun is forever.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49037196656873,"sku":"94490636275729528170","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49036812648681,"sku":"30861531004568624216","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49037196689641,"sku":"24236546941474429719","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49037196722409,"sku":"19991717787821838102","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49036812681449,"sku":"51423931813055384675","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49037196755177,"sku":"23787012040834986607","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49037196787945,"sku":"27705028803127074238","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49036812714217,"sku":"14956476265535321456","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49037196820713,"sku":"17425253593319082976","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49037196853481,"sku":"46234876419997781579","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49036812746985,"sku":"27968662532965274580","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49037196886249,"sku":"12111412738455939919","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49037196919017,"sku":"26722035682655005975","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49036812779753,"sku":"31763295409891869730","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49037196951785,"sku":"30657221970639508053","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49037196984553,"sku":"16460891217674960469","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49036812812521,"sku":"26343916553427163512","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49037197017321,"sku":"51909903505687657052","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49037197050089,"sku":"90250568826548125542","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49036812845289,"sku":"30030704873309722806","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49037228736745,"sku":"33322534171895513146","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49037197082857,"sku":"27094950018234310927","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49036812878057,"sku":"31648713985678032196","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49037228769513,"sku":"33652781746926644694","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_1.png?v=1756471984"},{"product_id":"old-bold-and-behind-the-wheel-you-ve-been-warned-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Old, Bold, and Behind the Wheel – You’ve Been Warned\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eGet off the sidewalk. I am driving.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eSome people drive to get from point A to point B. You drive to make a statement. And that statement is usually \"Get out of my way.\" This shirt is a public safety announcement for everyone else on the road. It lets them know that you have decades of experience, a heavy foot, and absolutely no patience for slowpokes. You are not just driving; you are commanding the asphalt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_2bfo6n2bfo6n2bfo.png?v=1764337646\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Fast delivery before you run out of gas.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton that stays comfortable even on long road trips.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Driving Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A roomy cut that allows for full range of motion, perfect for turning the wheel or honking the horn.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching ensures this shirt can handle the wear and tear of the open road.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching, so you can keep your eyes on the road (mostly).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the perfect warning label for the grandpa who still drives like he is 20, the dad who refuses to use GPS, or any senior who believes speed limits are just suggestions. It guarantees a laugh from passengers and a wide berth from other drivers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eClear the road. The legend is coming through.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49037240664297,"sku":"80996524945784123289","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49037240697065,"sku":"20316846897110932091","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49037240729833,"sku":"23554155342829923189","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49037240762601,"sku":"14096520462445583561","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49037240795369,"sku":"10698697970300161916","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49037240828137,"sku":"94883171655406555800","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49037240860905,"sku":"17236592518122769291","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49037240893673,"sku":"26456397957293642936","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49037240926441,"sku":"10335876360664871424","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49037240959209,"sku":"29589012335352857776","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49037240991977,"sku":"30202325591872439183","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49037241024745,"sku":"31945033252567022780","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49037241057513,"sku":"10082713897127593416","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49037241090281,"sku":"20049804882069854136","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49037241123049,"sku":"11859464220062636658","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49037241155817,"sku":"94572955466032074967","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49037241188585,"sku":"30810543671755627348","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49037241221353,"sku":"30380565636705630504","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49037241254121,"sku":"51220362920116420077","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49037241286889,"sku":"19418522928142865384","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49037241319657,"sku":"33267433230856741029","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49037241352425,"sku":"34961910132004354131","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49037241385193,"sku":"27134114001270271768","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49037241417961,"sku":"16922922811102326371","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_53998e58-4acb-4591-97af-cc92870565f2.png?v=1756529265"},{"product_id":"my-body-is-a-monument-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"My Body Is a Monument\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI am not falling apart. I am becoming historic.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003eSure, the foundation might be settling a bit. The plumbing makes weird noises at night. And sometimes the structural integrity depends entirely on coffee and ibuprofen. But this shirt sets the record straight: You are not old and broken. You are a magnificent monument to survival. Those cracks and creaks? That is just the sound of history being made.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_f2hfs8f2hfs8f2hf.png?v=1764410165\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Legendary quality delivered straight to your door.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk fabric that is gentle on your \"historic\" frame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Comfort Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Roomy enough to accommodate a life well-lived (and a good lunch).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-stitched seams to hold everything together, just like you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e Zero irritation, because monuments should not be scratched.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the perfect gift for the dad with the bad back, the grandpa who groans when he stands up, or anyone who wants to claim \"Historic Site\" status. It turns physical complaints into a badge of honor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eAdmission is free. But please do not touch the exhibits.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49042336514281,"sku":"27459294185720444366","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49042336612585,"sku":"26258428997142269229","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49042336710889,"sku":"17710529247910874731","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49042336809193,"sku":"15727597496981989473","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042336907497,"sku":"29759957413075644830","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042337005801,"sku":"57038523144165980102","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042337104105,"sku":"32639369466647213409","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042337202409,"sku":"28741868572773175458","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49042336481513,"sku":"81939887817054210783","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49042336579817,"sku":"23571875318692466015","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49042336678121,"sku":"18222235319764392674","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49042336776425,"sku":"29092702946369175168","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042336874729,"sku":"22237241691449387841","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042336973033,"sku":"10382261767722322956","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042337071337,"sku":"90542135517644308974","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042337169641,"sku":"32241129381373354049","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49042336547049,"sku":"18686782888564266363","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49042336645353,"sku":"80271802105592318944","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49042336743657,"sku":"35291591657803558707","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49042336841961,"sku":"20945935160236134722","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042336940265,"sku":"27630268705860244607","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042337038569,"sku":"29672056821762357666","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042337136873,"sku":"25047639190294384264","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042337235177,"sku":"61790759014570939127","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_3120697c-7c1c-456c-bbd2-a13e1c7a306d.png?v=1768534207"},{"product_id":"grumpy-nah-just-allergic-to-bullsh-t-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Grumpy? Nah. Just Allergic to Bullsh*t\" Distressed Frame T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI am not grumpy. I just have high standards for conversation.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003ePeople often mistake your silence for anger. They are wrong. You are simply suffering from a severe allergy to nonsense, drama, and long stories that go nowhere. This shirt serves as a medical alert for your personality. It saves everyone time by letting them know exactly where you stand. Be real, be brief, or be gone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/9wzk3b9wzk3b9wzk_dfe1f9e3-2f76-4a91-b9bd-fd3ad77a99ad.png?v=1768041147\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Quality printing that stands up to repeated washing and wearing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton fabric that feels soft against the skin, even if your attitude is tough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eClassic Relaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Cut generously through the body for maximum comfort. No tight sleeves or restrictive waistlines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching on the neckline and hem ensuring it lasts as long as your patience does.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching, no irritation. Just comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the essential gift for the dad who has heard it all, the grandpa with no filter, or any friend who values honesty over politeness. It is guaranteed to get a laugh (and a lot of nodding in agreement) at the next family BBQ or hardware store run.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eHonesty is the best policy. This shirt just makes it louder.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49042345001193,"sku":"21251512695119665508","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49042345033961,"sku":"22447895340580492911","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49042345066729,"sku":"11142673849802495107","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49042345099497,"sku":"20864269776095775927","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49042345132265,"sku":"29512953066452128534","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49042345165033,"sku":"12436323529017505547","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49042345197801,"sku":"30783163692758177167","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49042345230569,"sku":"25389391213666707320","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49042345263337,"sku":"29450797986842832611","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49042345296105,"sku":"18811850957372601807","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49042345328873,"sku":"32857857821388740279","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49042345361641,"sku":"22479029099439654789","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042345394409,"sku":"14184511510235686706","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042345427177,"sku":"18546348951710906862","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042345459945,"sku":"19681469417061878766","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042345492713,"sku":"12428969796307550622","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042345525481,"sku":"10938085549424320514","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042345558249,"sku":"17573933265802359045","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042345591017,"sku":"25220051035824862517","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042345623785,"sku":"19791601853081781189","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042345656553,"sku":"88234229973716213189","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042345689321,"sku":"14478163124750687470","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042345722089,"sku":"27657151010916535759","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042345754857,"sku":"11846606089267146326","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_47aad69b-903e-4e84-a3ae-3a09863c4197.png?v=1756529285"},{"product_id":"retired-what-day-is-it-doesn-t-matter-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Retired. What Day Is It? Doesn’t Matter\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product__title\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI threw away my calendar. Best decision ever.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eIs it Tuesday? Is it Sunday? When you are retired, the answer is always the same: It does not matter. This shirt is the official uniform for the man who has traded deadlines for fishing lines and alarm clocks for sunsets. It lets the world know that your schedule is wide open, and your only priority is deciding whether to nap now or later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/an-cool-old-man-wear-full-forest-green-t-shirt-sta.png?v=1764336005\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Vibrant printing that captures the retro sunset vibe perfectly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton fabric that is soft, breathable, and ready for lounging.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eClassic Roomy Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A comfortable cut that does not cling, allowing for full range of motion (even if that motion is just reaching for a drink).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Durable double-needle stitching on sleeves and bottom hem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth neck label for irritation-free comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate retirement gift for the coworker clearing out their desk, the dad heading south for the winter, or anyone who has earned the right to lose track of time. It is a wearable reminder that the rat race is over, and they won.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eEvery day is a Saturday. Dress like it.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49042350670057,"sku":"12982203302514675451","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49042350702825,"sku":"31550934053722343315","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49042350735593,"sku":"83822440956119583735","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49042350768361,"sku":"33605732032388781086","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49042350801129,"sku":"10722813303136531436","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49042350833897,"sku":"23360052409987543501","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49042350866665,"sku":"33400000287419339523","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49042350899433,"sku":"19140138939216703587","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49042350932201,"sku":"95241871625219953807","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49042350964969,"sku":"14314830806674459302","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49042350997737,"sku":"60436578415469639103","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49042351030505,"sku":"39984482997899113326","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042351063273,"sku":"78918679221137344818","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042351096041,"sku":"66814957922046076822","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042351128809,"sku":"45604178164885381324","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042351161577,"sku":"24783085764354441293","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042351194345,"sku":"12455996952658163037","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042351227113,"sku":"31829401755326671914","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042351259881,"sku":"31166091516598696872","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042351292649,"sku":"29313720071151759746","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042351325417,"sku":"16208817161174476556","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042351358185,"sku":"98392383313693263067","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042351390953,"sku":"25579096036536911827","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042351423721,"sku":"32358857978508429833","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_2_6ded9ad5-c007-4950-9908-18f96b0b09ae.png?v=1756529294"},{"product_id":"retired-living-the-7-day-weekend-no-alarm-clock-needed-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Retired. Living the 7-Day Weekend. No Alarm Clock Needed\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI smashed my alarm clock. Best feeling ever.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eRemember the Sunday Scaries? The dread of Monday morning meetings? Yeah, neither do we. This shirt is your official resignation from the tyranny of time. Inspired by retro motel neon signs, it captures the ultimate retirement goal: Every day is Saturday. Whether you are fishing on a Tuesday or napping at noon on a Thursday, you are living the life everyone else is waiting for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_ibahl7ibahl7ibah.png?v=1764337436\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Quality manufacturing that gets to you fast, so you can pack it for your next trip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRetro Sunset Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Vibrant colors that pop against the fabric, perfect for the beach, the golf course, or the backyard BBQ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton that feels broken-in and comfortable from Day 1.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eClassic Roomy Cut:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed for relaxation, allowing full range of motion for high-intensity activities like hammocking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e No itchy labels to disturb your peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ideal gift for the newly retired legend, the snowbird heading south, or anyone whose schedule is strictly: Coffee, Nap, Repeat. It is a wearable reminder that the grind is over and the good times have just begun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSet your alarm for \"Never\". Order yours today.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49042353717481,"sku":"26702249691792878850","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49042353750249,"sku":"24107699073179318885","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49042353783017,"sku":"23581371709096728676","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49042353815785,"sku":"17608817412702442825","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49042353848553,"sku":"30236438847631428764","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49042353881321,"sku":"16522063645973571826","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49042353914089,"sku":"18670576346991053857","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49042353946857,"sku":"31160178763204363166","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49042353979625,"sku":"20965654394608005322","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49042354012393,"sku":"38120090890079259273","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49042354045161,"sku":"10544160065251405340","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49042354077929,"sku":"26458923080831599978","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042354110697,"sku":"23333386121966337536","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042354143465,"sku":"20743365378982879399","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042354176233,"sku":"14565693861865555772","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042354209001,"sku":"25080622273129934498","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042354241769,"sku":"30043687828921579154","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042354274537,"sku":"13986447483711377399","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042354307305,"sku":"20457237624198095732","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042354340073,"sku":"54710196970736086092","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042354372841,"sku":"30394998574419505211","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042354405609,"sku":"22628932164692524899","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042354438377,"sku":"90519220581204380317","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042354471145,"sku":"85012116077792222695","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_1_8d2d6679-5b20-4040-8b49-6176bf008bea.png?v=1756474323"},{"product_id":"certified-old-fart-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Certified Old Fart\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eWarning: Approaching this senior may be hazardous to your nose.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eYou have reached an age where you no longer need to hold anything back—opinions, advice, or… well, gas. This shirt makes it official. Featuring a bold badge design that looks like a vintage safety warning, it lets everyone know that you are old, dangerous, and fully certified. It is not just clothing; it is a public service announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_dfq6wudfq6wudfq6.png?v=1764409561\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Quality printing that stands out in a crowd (just like you).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton fabric that feels light and airy (essential for ventilation).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A comfortable, roomy cut that allows for maximum relaxation and unrestricted movement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching ensures this shirt can handle family reunions, BBQ spills, and nap times.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No irritation, just pure comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate gag gift for Father's Day, a milestone birthday, or just to embarrass the grandkids. It is perfect for the dad or grandpa who is famous for \"pulling my finger\" and laughing the loudest at his own jokes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eWear it loud. Wear it proud. Just don't blame the dog.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49042356961513,"sku":"30089736983938487285","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49042356994281,"sku":"29326904561979428128","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49042357027049,"sku":"15400455335359272180","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49042357059817,"sku":"88422205765391357422","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49042357092585,"sku":"23492006645955086833","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49042357125353,"sku":"22204427173064552916","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49042357158121,"sku":"32211412132414593221","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49042357190889,"sku":"72785717637485916552","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49042357223657,"sku":"14927037185666244526","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49042357256425,"sku":"70987876658542906842","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49042357289193,"sku":"30163731611270946680","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49042357321961,"sku":"20215634288685339757","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042357354729,"sku":"42024194478804755316","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042357387497,"sku":"30730500278965810474","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042357420265,"sku":"84952693556648664093","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042357453033,"sku":"28931762597041701470","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042357485801,"sku":"27854961172368079724","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042357518569,"sku":"25759427729139341144","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042357551337,"sku":"83026522553190953886","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042357584105,"sku":"58454003400545826406","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042357616873,"sku":"98897883268703858723","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042357649641,"sku":"23090576590130112570","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042357682409,"sku":"11481992909508456377","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042357715177,"sku":"21600829958278413567","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_1_2bbb9e53-1354-46b9-8ccf-390aa9aa7d49.png?v=1756474880"},{"product_id":"retired-i-worked-my-whole-life-for-this-shirt-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Retired. I Worked My Whole Life for This Shirt\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e40 Years of Hard Work. And All I Got Was This Awesome Shirt.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eSome people get a gold watch. Some people get a fancy plaque. You? You got freedom, sleeping in late, and this shirt. Honestly, you got the better deal. This tee is a trophy you can actually wear. It represents decades of early mornings, traffic jams, endless meetings, and surviving the daily grind. You made it to the finish line. Now, you can finally relax in style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_ub7o3pub7o3pub7o.png?v=1764337205\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Quality craftsmanship delivered fast, just in time for your party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSoft \u0026amp; Lightweight:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from premium cotton blend that feels great against the skin (unlike a stiff suit and tie).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A comfortable cut that gives you room to breathe and move. Available in sizes up to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-stitched seams ensure this shirt lasts as long as your retirement fund.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No itchy distractions, just pure comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate gag gift for the retiree with a great sense of humor. Whether for a coworker leaving the office, a dad hanging up his work boots, or yourself (because you earned it), this shirt gets the message across with a smile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eWear it with pride. You paid for it with your time.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49042363613417,"sku":"11629639839219039624","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49042363646185,"sku":"29680952399739924064","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49042363678953,"sku":"85327043685797942694","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49042363711721,"sku":"87431647735040428626","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49042363744489,"sku":"20589193140600754019","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49042363777257,"sku":"82289421267594908671","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49042363810025,"sku":"19746193872937674815","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49042363842793,"sku":"31895507857318021042","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49042363875561,"sku":"13741907247529848029","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49042363908329,"sku":"13866189104102987266","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49042363941097,"sku":"22652190503914201783","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49042363973865,"sku":"27939708266441447930","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042364006633,"sku":"59999748992100102782","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042364039401,"sku":"43984125326325724348","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042364072169,"sku":"30489288490233745445","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042364104937,"sku":"27089079553433993256","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042364137705,"sku":"16361002436120976335","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042364170473,"sku":"22597846781444139812","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042364203241,"sku":"27425629596542085193","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042364236009,"sku":"11338923373499948371","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042364268777,"sku":"80240012739324622035","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042364301545,"sku":"32603491162582515660","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042364334313,"sku":"12609082036017254728","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042364367081,"sku":"41513418155296698912","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_8c382cf3-ebe2-4f99-993a-79eb40eab702.png?v=1756529320"},{"product_id":"wisdom-ain-t-free-i-paid-in-decades-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Wisdom Ain’t Free. I Paid in Decades\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eKnowledge is cheap. Wisdom is expensive.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eAnyone can look up facts on a phone. But real wisdom? That comes from late nights, hard choices, mistakes, and survival. You cannot download it, and you cannot fake it. This shirt is a tribute to the price you have paid. With a vintage design featuring aged textures and classic elements, it tells the world that every grey hair is a receipt for a lesson learned the hard way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_e5x6koe5x6koe5x6.png?v=1764410031\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Crisp, professional printing that honors the details of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePerfect Mid-Weight Fabric:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from 100% cotton that strikes the ideal balance—not too heavy, not too thin. Just right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eGenerous Relaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e True-to-size cut that gives you plenty of room to breathe and move comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Stitching:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle hems ensuring this shirt lasts as long as your stories do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e Because you are too old to deal with scratchy tags.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the perfect gift for the mentor, the father figure, or the friend who always gives the best advice (even if you did not ask for it). It is a respectful nod to a life full of experience and the man who lived it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eWear it with pride. You have the receipts.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49042365579497,"sku":"11155172966291805989","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49042365612265,"sku":"15193295098953331288","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49042365645033,"sku":"28362251261306373888","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49042365677801,"sku":"29513590721177581673","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49042365710569,"sku":"31311338361924265006","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49042365743337,"sku":"13610357095822048226","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49042365776105,"sku":"21064647579115281721","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49042365808873,"sku":"26384874208711703615","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49042365841641,"sku":"29344588343943029354","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49042365874409,"sku":"16585421150370336486","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49042365907177,"sku":"99337900150317708387","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49042365939945,"sku":"17219705728029026263","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042365972713,"sku":"28562757663177354435","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042366005481,"sku":"18998389326375065509","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49042366038249,"sku":"19369895305774698077","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042366071017,"sku":"14653236284010224918","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042366103785,"sku":"14257655636704584318","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49042366136553,"sku":"39167037293902162187","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042366169321,"sku":"16691419652969830658","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042366202089,"sku":"62110915963341296250","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49042366234857,"sku":"13743638974866370855","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042366267625,"sku":"76745346071806833002","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042366300393,"sku":"32821690955251408412","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49042366333161,"sku":"23492899046221727898","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_8da9cb99-bdc7-46f7-92c7-3ebd2ab0a71c.png?v=1756529331"},{"product_id":"i-came-i-saw-i-forgot-what-i-was-doing-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"I Came. I Saw. I Forgot What I Was Doing.\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eVeni, Vidi... Wait, what was I doing?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eYou walk into a room with a clear purpose. You stand there. You look around. And then it hits you: You have absolutely no idea why you are there. This shirt captures that universal \"senior moment\" perfectly. It is a hilarious confession that while you still have the ambition to conquer the world, sometimes you just need a reminder of what you were doing in the kitchen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_getz0cgetz0cgetz.png?v=1764409412\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Fast delivery so you get it before you forget you ordered it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton that feels soft and familiar, like a memory you actually kept.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A comfortable cut that does not restrict you while you are wandering around looking for your glasses.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Quality:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching ensures this shirt lasts longer than your short-term memory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No irritation to distract you from your train of thought.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the perfect gift for the husband who circles the hardware store looking for \"that thing,\" the dad who calls you by the dog's name, or anyone who can laugh at the little glitches of getting older. It is a fun way to say, \"I am still here, even if I don't know why.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eOwn the confusion. Wear the shirt. Just don't forget where you put it.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49043941490921,"sku":"18143392081022238313","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49043941523689,"sku":"24807685617534386703","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49043941556457,"sku":"30518894050513885161","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49043941589225,"sku":"16193625889346288704","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49043941621993,"sku":"65034580534271979748","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49043941654761,"sku":"81796810768157128424","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49043941687529,"sku":"17491037406789586275","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49043941720297,"sku":"23220071206584066795","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49043941753065,"sku":"13403247508973154943","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49043941785833,"sku":"83549014206351292678","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49043941818601,"sku":"11930815556882340594","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49043941851369,"sku":"70410607715351377865","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043941884137,"sku":"33845967418144672090","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043941916905,"sku":"25320528644798764105","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043941949673,"sku":"93342816209134805740","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043941982441,"sku":"26209836588570892098","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043942015209,"sku":"29623447014729163018","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043942047977,"sku":"87455077314248298721","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043942080745,"sku":"33493273981600670152","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043942113513,"sku":"24989024954277630829","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043942146281,"sku":"11681667370820804707","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043942179049,"sku":"27173495653167260590","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043942211817,"sku":"28619075393995269724","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043942244585,"sku":"28794501101035081139","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_37944445-e32c-421e-8849-53126b2d0828.png?v=1756529420"},{"product_id":"it-s-weird-being-the-same-age-as-old-people-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"It’s Weird Being the Same Age as Old People\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eInside, I am still twenty-five. The mirror is lying.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eYou look in the mirror and you see... well, maturity. But inside? You are still the same rock-and-roll rebel you were in the 70s. This shirt captures that hilarious disconnect we all feel. It is for the moment you look around at your high school reunion and wonder, \"When did everyone get so old?\" Spoiler alert: You are one of them, but at least you have better taste in t-shirts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_qh50qpqh50qpqh50.png?v=1764409236\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Fast delivery because life moves pretty fast these days.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eBoomer Pop Comic Design:\u003c\/b\u003e A vibrant, retro-comic graphic that keeps the vibe young and fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton that feels gentle on the skin and fits perfectly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A comfortable cut that lets you move freely, whether you are dancing or just reaching for the remote.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching or itching to remind you of your age.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the perfect gift for the birthday that ends in a zero, the class reunion, or for the dad who refuses to act his age. It is a funny, relatable way to embrace the years without losing your cool factor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eYoung at heart. Old everywhere else.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49043968557289,"sku":"52092507874843255694","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49043968590057,"sku":"26467901753363440962","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49043968622825,"sku":"20035784673539847117","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49043968655593,"sku":"30918533928621046549","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49043968688361,"sku":"32735390636499648401","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49043968721129,"sku":"31064095225467302580","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49043968753897,"sku":"12199117998954113757","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49043968786665,"sku":"16824845212561904387","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49043968819433,"sku":"32492354746700903198","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49043968852201,"sku":"31337678384143538056","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49043968884969,"sku":"33723882412456237992","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49043968917737,"sku":"20022537842186770036","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043968950505,"sku":"33863173464061743577","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043968983273,"sku":"99025656021663832504","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043969016041,"sku":"12969066866454522705","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043969048809,"sku":"10439176264304623012","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043969081577,"sku":"30442830841370226070","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043969114345,"sku":"18686761516093212546","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043969147113,"sku":"36084138275857926728","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043969179881,"sku":"17340761521129928335","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043969212649,"sku":"31035059754728248943","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043969245417,"sku":"17695678647126978112","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043969278185,"sku":"88109108433572089276","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043969310953,"sku":"24793957650061536703","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_d915340b-dab9-409f-912d-955c25f4f905.png?v=1756529717"},{"product_id":"monday-canceled-i-m-retired-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Monday Canceled. I’m Retired\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe most hated day of the week just got fired.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eRemember the Sunday night dread? The alarm clock anxiety? Forget them. You have officially cancelled Monday. It no longer exists in your calendar. From now on, you wake up when you want, drink coffee as slow as you like, and watch everyone else rush to work while you plan your nap. This shirt is your victory flag. It tells the world that while they are grinding, you are winning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_ey7fsdey7fsdey7f.png?v=1764336967\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Vibrant printing that stays sharp, just like your wit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton fabric that feels soft against the skin and holds its shape wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A generous cut that offers plenty of room to move (or relax). Available in sizes up to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching on sleeves and hem ensures this shirt is ready for daily wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching, just pure comfort for your endless weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate gift to celebrate a retirement date. It is perfect for the coworker who is counting down the days, the mom heading on a retirement trip, or anyone who happily annoys everyone by asking, \"Is today Monday? I didn't notice.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eMondays are for working people. You are not one of them.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49043982647529,"sku":"30148541823606900279","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49043982680297,"sku":"17019437630140090870","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49043982713065,"sku":"32841290728876132743","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49043982745833,"sku":"29906514419311724878","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49043982778601,"sku":"81306205354106739954","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49043982811369,"sku":"31597103745737759376","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49043982844137,"sku":"21684738252208056193","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49043982876905,"sku":"12154274399401756895","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49043982909673,"sku":"18418300663985390202","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49043982942441,"sku":"84459129609399068955","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49043982975209,"sku":"29885738093777016992","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49043983007977,"sku":"10884565254417212200","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043983040745,"sku":"66022239666043064386","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043983073513,"sku":"17057307440140613878","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043983106281,"sku":"32742833981453778182","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043983139049,"sku":"31669952764448216500","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043983171817,"sku":"22032839258653382406","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043983204585,"sku":"16970578671483933843","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043983237353,"sku":"22952241357523384487","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043983270121,"sku":"45440325961679456970","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043983302889,"sku":"22694110277908755127","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043983335657,"sku":"15625754088852671208","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043983368425,"sku":"25996229028021627134","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043983401193,"sku":"18991736322763736041","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_66112f05-0303-4746-81e4-1d92425b8b5b.png?v=1756529947"},{"product_id":"retired-not-my-problem-anymore-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Retired! Not My Problem Anymore\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe phone is ringing. And I am not answering.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eRemember the stress of deadlines, meetings, and urgent emails? This shirt is your reminder that those days are gone forever. It sends a clear message to the world: The shop is closed. The complaints department is unstaffed. And the only thing you are managing today is your comfort level. Slip it on, kick back, and let someone else handle the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/cool-old-man-wearing-sand-color-t-shirt.png?v=1764335198\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Premium quality printing that stays vibrant wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eUltra-Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from 100% pre-shrunk cotton that feels breathable and gentle on the skin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Designed with a generous cut through the chest and waist for unrestricted movement. No tight fits here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eBuilt Tough:\u003c\/b\u003e Features double-needle stitching on sleeves and hem for long-lasting durability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e Say goodbye to scratchy neck labels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the must-have gift for the newly retired legend, the dad who is enjoying his second childhood, or anyone who has officially clocked out for the last time. It is perfect for wearing to the beach, the BBQ, or just lounging around the house while everyone else is at work.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eOfficially retired. Permanently unavailable.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49043994804457,"sku":"28828058283476566692","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49043994837225,"sku":"25329073828084292954","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49043994869993,"sku":"23323342952775195148","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49043994902761,"sku":"37325961285422402958","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49043994935529,"sku":"21901337450661477571","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49043994968297,"sku":"83541591746958696937","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49043995001065,"sku":"10558273187846687295","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49043995033833,"sku":"12659546977553491526","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49043995066601,"sku":"41841221295381311252","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49043995099369,"sku":"16875726733808028184","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49043995132137,"sku":"22982169518749614051","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49043995164905,"sku":"75403159451042884133","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043995197673,"sku":"18515540315562812172","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043995230441,"sku":"33243237923112549568","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49043995263209,"sku":"26425860553999901808","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043995295977,"sku":"24938450625204055712","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043995328745,"sku":"53062779465299068613","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49043995361513,"sku":"10941262855126262646","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043995394281,"sku":"30708868627494589904","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043995427049,"sku":"31922517397625239990","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49043995459817,"sku":"13546080535500841062","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043995492585,"sku":"20437367716927094517","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043995525353,"sku":"18282238116961628248","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49043995558121,"sku":"26898247912833879752","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_99500b6f-6d11-4245-b17b-c577358b4653.png?v=1756530181"},{"product_id":"retired-and-rebuilt-body-contains-aftermarket-parts-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Retired and Rebuilt. Body Contains Aftermarket Parts\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eMore metal than muscle? That is just an upgrade.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eYou are not aging; you are just being customized. Knee replacements, hip hardware, heart stents... that is not medical history, that is a build sheet. This shirt celebrates the fact that you are running on new parts and pure stubbornness. Like a vintage project car, you are original where it counts and rebuilt where it matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/20197e2f-93b6-4430-b484-5a95095b86c7.png?v=1773647486\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality printing that won't crack or peel after a few washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton that feels great against the skin (even the parts with scars).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eClassic Relaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Cut with plenty of room in the chest and waist. No tight \"slim fit\" nonsense here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Stitching:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle hems for extra durability, because you are still tough on your clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No itchy neck tags to annoy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_11_20_17_AM.png?v=1777523094\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate recovery gift for the dad fresh out of surgery, the grandpa who sets off metal detectors at the airport, or any guy who treats his body like a high-maintenance vintage machine. It is a badge of honor for the bionic man in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh maintenance. High performance. Fully rebuilt.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49044002341097,"sku":"24441157613508946382","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49044002373865,"sku":"10849826465398557074","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49044002406633,"sku":"20284848728166813689","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49044002439401,"sku":"23257469199953882011","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49044002472169,"sku":"25943845670123086965","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49044002504937,"sku":"17949296503546520177","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49044002537705,"sku":"23140330113344204291","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49044002570473,"sku":"28901710317788353526","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49044002603241,"sku":"25755429522608064263","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49044002636009,"sku":"12768349228298734564","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49044002668777,"sku":"11290591530565054363","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49044002701545,"sku":"67380249207745125468","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044002734313,"sku":"28434981025174576503","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044002767081,"sku":"11935945313318124837","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044002799849,"sku":"29099136126368857514","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044002832617,"sku":"19860961812587390400","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044002865385,"sku":"21709220131584067168","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044002898153,"sku":"13854305985685316969","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044002930921,"sku":"24395091890599787306","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044002963689,"sku":"19830652609709168916","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044002996457,"sku":"23809145950980183415","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044003029225,"sku":"27974950234657707508","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044003061993,"sku":"22170747691848935863","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044003094761,"sku":"23932016314208366892","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_5d8c7574-aaf5-483c-b95c-599006434eff.png?v=1756614948"},{"product_id":"sundays-are-sacred-the-other-six-are-weekends-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Sundays Are Sacred. The Other Six Are Weekends.\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSix days for fun. One day for peace.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003eWhen you are working, you live for the weekend. When you are retired, the weekend lives for you. This shirt celebrates the perfect balance of retirement life. You have six days to do whatever you want—fishing, golfing, or just napping—and one special day to rest and reflect. It is the ultimate schedule for a life well-lived.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_y5b9vqy5b9vqy5b9.png?v=1764409879\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Quality manufacturing that arrives ready for your next Sunday service or Saturday BBQ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk fabric that feels gentle and breathable, perfect for all-day wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A comfortable cut that moves with you, whether you are in the garden or in the pew.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching ensures this shirt stays looking good, Sunday after Sunday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching to distract you from your peace and quiet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ideal gift for the retiree who values their time, their faith, and their freedom. Whether for a dad, grandpa, or church-going friend, it is a heartwarming way to say, \"Enjoy every single day.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eEvery day is a blessing. Especially the weekends.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49044008009961,"sku":"11726542159363405120","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49044008042729,"sku":"60785393830372184723","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49044008075497,"sku":"11207346291125418161","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49044008108265,"sku":"82080411367316396659","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49044008141033,"sku":"29470857311637436858","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49044008173801,"sku":"18919662679756605601","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49044008206569,"sku":"30121257630744177066","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49044008239337,"sku":"16131891828502193315","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49044008272105,"sku":"20411992913086470600","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49044008304873,"sku":"16189818999015460691","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49044008337641,"sku":"27373456934590302059","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49044008370409,"sku":"18805262654264671358","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044008403177,"sku":"25361904590967964494","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044008435945,"sku":"11151179136098417323","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044008468713,"sku":"30319663214534960301","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044008501481,"sku":"13805838332422155717","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044008534249,"sku":"19730539000701207845","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044008567017,"sku":"13164886468166014961","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044008599785,"sku":"27684585463382555202","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044008632553,"sku":"68343384130125715837","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044008665321,"sku":"54970581210400785687","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044008698089,"sku":"58995638192248933035","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044008730857,"sku":"33177165992940170522","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044008763625,"sku":"29540933097197855613","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_a710c981-56b4-4319-a8e4-766c670ff29c.png?v=1756530604"},{"product_id":"talk-louder-or-just-text-me-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Talk Louder or Just Text Me\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI am not ignoring you. I just cannot hear you.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eTired of saying \"Huh?\" or \"What?\" a hundred times a day? Save your breath. This shirt gives clear instructions so you do not have to. It is the polite(ish) way to tell the world: If you are going to mumble, do not bother. Either speak up like you mean it, or send it to my phone so I can read it with my glasses later. Perfect for the man who has mastered the art of \"Selective Hearing.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/c78cb57b-17a3-4a0d-952c-eecf44df1a4c.png?v=1779853645\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Bold, high-contrast printing that is easy to read from a distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton that feels comfortable all day long.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A roomy cut that does not restrict movement (or breathing). Available in sizes up to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching on sleeves and hem to withstand daily wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching on the back of your neck.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_12_06_12_PM.png?v=1777525733\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ideal gift for the grandpa who refuses to get a hearing aid, the dad who prefers texting because phone calls take too long, or anyone who appreciates peace, quiet, and clear communication. It saves everyone time and frustration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSpeak up. Or shut up. I am good either way.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49044015415529,"sku":"10406093005307011719","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49044015448297,"sku":"25541733927968975624","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49044015481065,"sku":"44377134008108875439","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49044015513833,"sku":"29999203427035638894","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49044015546601,"sku":"23609502154898212480","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49044015579369,"sku":"62576258333879909554","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49044015612137,"sku":"32577532321880936087","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49044015644905,"sku":"18762480612414253120","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49044015677673,"sku":"30203592968324557427","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49044015710441,"sku":"28171959171615656867","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49044015743209,"sku":"30101844824694920424","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49044015775977,"sku":"61041285288944536267","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044015808745,"sku":"14812422426391017730","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044015841513,"sku":"14968061847505291811","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044015874281,"sku":"25391719897117228553","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044015907049,"sku":"16470658631564248421","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044015939817,"sku":"58588769587110551993","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044015972585,"sku":"25807027326911921782","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044016005353,"sku":"24479825593910086165","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044016038121,"sku":"23270006459734663194","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044016070889,"sku":"17099326430767848383","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044016103657,"sku":"18606177874079086511","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044016136425,"sku":"20577597915987838458","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044016169193,"sku":"87120334644079304879","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_04f16a06-7743-4a54-a856-403fd3fddd3d.png?v=1756530845"},{"product_id":"the-legend-has-retired-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"The Legend Has Retired\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eHe did not just clock out. He stepped down from the throne.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003eThis tee is not for just any retiree. It is for the one who did it all, led the pack, called the shots, and still left the room quietly with style. Featuring a powerful graphic of a hand holding a lit cigar and puppet strings falling loose, this design is a salute to freedom. It signifies the end of an era where you pulled the strings or had them pulled for you. Now, you answer to no one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_rv83efrv83efrv83.png?v=1764337822\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality printing that captures every detail of the vintage design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eLightweight \u0026amp; Breathable:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from 100% pre-shrunk cotton (or soft blend) that feels airy and comfortable, perfect for relaxing in your kingdom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eClassic Relaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A generous cut that looks good on every body type, from the lean machine to the dad bod.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Reinforced stitching on neck and sleeves to ensure this shirt lasts as long as your legacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching, just smooth comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate send-off gift for the boss who was actually a leader, the dad who worked harder than anyone else, or the grandpa who has stories that would make a sailor blush. It is a badge of honor for the man, the myth, the legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Legend has retired. Long live the Legend.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49044017742057,"sku":"46136393768147921132","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49044017840361,"sku":"25734865773677533300","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49044017938665,"sku":"88280527423027541204","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49044018036969,"sku":"17132924976379097020","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044018135273,"sku":"24829066214295252288","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044018233577,"sku":"31408620113334078576","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044018331881,"sku":"10339821731914362082","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044018430185,"sku":"10880540928330880381","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49044017807593,"sku":"27502204917042768518","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49044017905897,"sku":"69288682914494757190","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49044018004201,"sku":"30885740462076206168","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49044018102505,"sku":"29336420418597502473","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044018200809,"sku":"74713106258250761416","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044018299113,"sku":"18133000125553447899","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044018397417,"sku":"15269242404187439231","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044018495721,"sku":"96537829960413989780","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49044017774825,"sku":"33300638317541048308","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49044017873129,"sku":"29754456706524557169","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49044017971433,"sku":"17939923373310384946","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49044018069737,"sku":"30308209919404217006","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044018168041,"sku":"25336652773750456134","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044018266345,"sku":"27195593852549509458","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044018364649,"sku":"29487069662604308064","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044018462953,"sku":"23967084183071458233","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_99fe28fb-2b4c-4bde-bf19-82199f05b8b1.png?v=1764217332"},{"product_id":"old-bold-and-under-wife-supervision-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Old, Bold and Under Wife Supervision\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI am the boss. I just need to ask my wife for permission first.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003eYou have lived a long life. You have taken risks. You are bold, brave, and fearless. But let us be honest: You would not be here without \"Management\" keeping you out of trouble. This shirt celebrates the secret to a long, happy life (and marriage): Knowing exactly who is really in charge. It is a funny, honest admission that while you may steer the ship, she is definitely the captain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/22.jpg?v=1764339207\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Reliable quality that even your wife would approve of.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSoft \u0026amp; Comfortable:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from premium cotton fabric that feels great (so you won't complain about wearing it).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A roomy cut that hides the \"good living\" around the waistline. Available up to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-stitched seams to withstand all your \"bold\" adventures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free:\u003c\/b\u003e Because you get enough irritation from other sources (just kidding).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate gift for the husband who knows his place, the dad who jokes about being \"henpecked,\" or a funny anniversary present that says, \"I love you, now behave.\" Guaranteed to get a laugh from everyone who knows the real dynamic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eOld. Bold. And doing exactly what she says.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49044020003049,"sku":"27634380791533533557","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49044020035817,"sku":"10858723885478291162","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49044020068585,"sku":"18089249601566790031","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49044020101353,"sku":"18084073533073373221","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49044020134121,"sku":"79234989226976858087","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49044020166889,"sku":"20130262439762592236","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49044020199657,"sku":"24267530969455324899","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49044020232425,"sku":"82125387969136389417","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49044020265193,"sku":"28070675811319625745","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49044020297961,"sku":"23081280565674863702","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49044020330729,"sku":"62515774219067806178","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49044020363497,"sku":"90966960161650952091","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044020396265,"sku":"26908336710023393873","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044020429033,"sku":"32456128307489622923","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49044020461801,"sku":"31986276929935746744","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044020494569,"sku":"12459448964758264998","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044020527337,"sku":"15043955735766696824","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49044020560105,"sku":"75590762226315945402","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044020592873,"sku":"38625864827585053623","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044020625641,"sku":"28995573708104483547","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49044020658409,"sku":"25675843250191498827","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044020691177,"sku":"12194678898565910805","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044020723945,"sku":"58845474332502094671","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49044020756713,"sku":"20605397920216572848","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_b7cdceef-5cf8-4f90-8b78-accc4cc77476.png?v=1756531536"},{"product_id":"built-in-the-mid-century-original-unrestored-all-parts-still-in-working-order-vintage-t-shirt","title":"“Built in the Mid-Century. Original Unrestored, All Parts Still in Working Order” Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI am not old. I am a classic.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eSome things get worse with age. Fine wine, classic muscle cars, and you... well, you just get more valuable. This shirt is for the man who is proud of his \"high mileage.\" Like a vintage machine found in a barn, you are original, unrestored, and built to last. You might have a few scratches and the engine might make a noise on cold mornings, but you still run circles around the new models.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_i22zwni22zwni22z.png?v=1764339025\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Quality manufacturing that respects the classics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eVintage Garage Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Features retro typography and piston icons inspired by 1950s service station signs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton that feels soft against the skin but is tough enough for the garage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A comfortable cut that gives you plenty of room to move under the hood or over the grill.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Stitching:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle hems ensure this shirt stays in one piece for the long haul.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate gift for the car enthusiast, the mechanic, or any dad born in the mid-century era (1940s-1960s) who takes pride in being \"all original parts.\" It is a great conversation starter at car shows, BBQs, or anywhere classic legends gather.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh mileage. No regrets. Still running strong.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49158751617257,"sku":"31321508378849393210","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49158751650025,"sku":"10950818339179865331","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49158751682793,"sku":"22147672630236228571","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49158751715561,"sku":"17363111270167162717","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49158751748329,"sku":"35134522377154464615","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49158751781097,"sku":"55569176470879388018","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49158751813865,"sku":"21080952095378507509","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49158751846633,"sku":"12842426812412776812","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49158751879401,"sku":"39958989539940856189","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49158751912169,"sku":"13625089824969422067","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49158751944937,"sku":"13458872235861471865","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49158751977705,"sku":"18327696915944576538","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49158752010473,"sku":"10968431550676965896","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49158752043241,"sku":"19419413784244203926","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49158752076009,"sku":"13109301546033961568","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49158752108777,"sku":"34339675572113053806","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49158752141545,"sku":"56713542088635354884","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49158752174313,"sku":"20465751678788139716","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49158752207081,"sku":"12764306565816383508","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49158752239849,"sku":"99638739595704315726","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49158752272617,"sku":"11657948654786846263","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49158752305385,"sku":"10134959185710958359","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49158752338153,"sku":"59158548636164042125","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49158752370921,"sku":"24180076934697880593","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_7cba6a72-8b88-46ad-9733-a2cebd4ccd0d.png?v=1759402001"},{"product_id":"retired-living-the-7-day-weekend-no-alarm-clock-needed-vintage-t-shirt-1","title":"\"Retired - Living the 7-Day Weekend - No Alarm Clock Needed\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eNo alarm. No boss. No problem.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003eThe best part of retirement is not the pension; it is the morning silence. No buzzing, no rushing, no traffic. This shirt celebrates your new reality: Every day is a weekend. Monday feels just like Saturday, and Friday is just another day to relax. It sends a clear message that your time is finally 100% yours to spend however you want (mostly napping).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1136\" data-end=\"1235\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_y1x2eoy1x2eoy1x2.png?v=1769856932\" alt=\"Blue denim cap and white t-shirt with退休设计 on a light gray background\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e High-quality print that captures the neon sunset vibe perfectly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk fabric that feels as good as sleeping in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Cut for comfort with plenty of room to move. Available in sizes up to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable \u0026amp; Long-Lasting:\u003c\/b\u003e Reinforced stitching ensures this shirt survives all your new adventures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Experience:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth neck label for zero irritation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ideal gift for the snowbird heading to Florida, the dad who has officially clocked out, or anyone who needs a wardrobe update for their permanent vacation. It is a fun, stylish way to say \"I am done\" to the working world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_h9qpq7h9qpq7h9qp.png?v=1764338493\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"23\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eStop counting the days. Start enjoying them.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49161749266665,"sku":"10727926830828196855","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49161749299433,"sku":"33774245774090547406","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49161749332201,"sku":"25960914451756305033","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49161749364969,"sku":"25086280913259387553","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49161749397737,"sku":"19078417420765216904","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49161749430505,"sku":"25396814836286788108","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49161749463273,"sku":"27148140201000453063","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49161749496041,"sku":"38003736170935746228","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49161749528809,"sku":"33793832354498421820","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49161749561577,"sku":"19271543938441504152","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49161749594345,"sku":"20567262558792497770","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49161749627113,"sku":"10596420175794223606","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49161749659881,"sku":"10034429248539388436","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49161749692649,"sku":"40848860968393605382","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49161749725417,"sku":"82122124645802821603","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49161749758185,"sku":"97843031340858314202","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49161749790953,"sku":"97563830011661071734","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49161749823721,"sku":"13727286092793191292","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49161749856489,"sku":"47951894924533814830","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49161749889257,"sku":"22050743618061685609","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49161749922025,"sku":"30419784084669821659","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49161749954793,"sku":"12158639320459789938","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49161749987561,"sku":"32792277473708111837","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49161750020329,"sku":"18502886825828094586","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_4afa4a9d-a0a3-45e7-8b9b-2158adf5b99b.png?v=1759481232"},{"product_id":"retired-i-worked-my-whole-life-for-this-shirt-vintage-t-shirt-1","title":"\"Retired. I Worked My Whole Life for This Shirt\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e40 Years of Hard Work. And All I Got Was This Awesome Shirt.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003eSome people get a gold watch. Some people get a fancy plaque. You? You got freedom, sleeping in late, and this shirt. Honestly, you got the better deal. This tee is a trophy you can actually wear. It represents decades of early mornings, traffic jams, endless meetings, and surviving the daily grind. You made it to the finish line. Now, you can finally relax in style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1161\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_7r6no87r6no87r6n.png?v=1762176629\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Quality craftsmanship delivered fast, just in time for your party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSoft \u0026amp; Lightweight:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from premium cotton blend that feels great against the skin (unlike a stiff suit and tie).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A comfortable cut that gives you room to breathe and move. Available in sizes up to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Design:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-stitched seams ensure this shirt lasts as long as your retirement fund.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No itchy distractions, just pure comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ultimate gag gift for the retiree with a great sense of humor. Whether for a coworker leaving the office, a dad hanging up his work boots, or yourself (because you earned it), this shirt gets the message across with a smile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_j4hce3j4hce3j4hc.png?v=1764336662\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eWear it with pride. You paid for it with your time.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49161760571625,"sku":"26736094604327026565","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49161760604393,"sku":"11519118586248655847","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":49161760637161,"sku":"18339166866477596259","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49161760669929,"sku":"24617046378981403276","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49161760702697,"sku":"15159164271422852319","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":49161760735465,"sku":"22822330545824795603","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49161760768233,"sku":"32443300425499437089","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49161760801001,"sku":"21876350886518967563","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":49161760833769,"sku":"17477695698456213025","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49161760866537,"sku":"23415475476893216313","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49161760899305,"sku":"33597557971546907454","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":49161760932073,"sku":"44129920013422885243","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49161760964841,"sku":"57791669189674970740","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49161760997609,"sku":"11880546375973155212","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":49161761030377,"sku":"25945557740121711698","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49161761063145,"sku":"33944138068005852650","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49161761095913,"sku":"22938342708103981829","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":49161761128681,"sku":"16165116372910190836","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49161761161449,"sku":"22679747168091624903","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49161761194217,"sku":"32513729010615079435","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":49161761226985,"sku":"40413953968682078773","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49161761259753,"sku":"18202630351697325095","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49161761292521,"sku":"98765854748453705831","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":49161761325289,"sku":"87564302257881574062","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_b10a3457-372c-4540-9a09-f35b29481696.png?v=1759481546"},{"product_id":"grumpy-nah-just-allergic-to-bullsh-t-vintage-t-shirt-1","title":"\"Grumpy? Nah. Just Allergic to Bullsh*t\" Vintage Sign T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI am not grumpy. I just have a low tolerance for nonsense.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003ePeople look at you and think you are in a bad mood. Let them. The truth is, you have reached a point in life where you simply refuse to entertain drama, fake politeness, or long stories that go nowhere. This shirt is your official medical alert. It saves everyone time by setting the ground rules immediately: Be real, be brief, or be gone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/mj8totmj8totmj8t.png?v=1768041046\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Durable printing that stays bold, just like your attitude.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk cotton fabric that feels soft against the skin (unlike your patience for BS).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Classic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Cut generously through the chest and waist for unrestricted movement. No tight fits here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRugged Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching on sleeves and hem ensures this shirt lasts for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching, just pure comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the essential gift for the dad who has heard it all, the grandpa who speaks his mind, or any friend who values honesty over feelings. It is guaranteed to get a laugh (and a lot of space) at the next family gathering or trip to the hardware store.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eNo filter. No apologies. Just allergic.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":49277460218089,"sku":"22212399372660772943","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":49277460250857,"sku":"24851143332347779165","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49277460283625,"sku":"22817536420825344205","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":49277460316393,"sku":"23445813350281887574","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":49277460349161,"sku":"30489306995950959126","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49277460381929,"sku":"13274748438205925669","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":49277460414697,"sku":"10652024987172220522","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":49277460447465,"sku":"70966631162330420325","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49277460480233,"sku":"20631457666875130587","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":49277460513001,"sku":"27879220222183043256","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":49277460545769,"sku":"33166553765844319233","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49277460578537,"sku":"18937238880669888758","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":49277460611305,"sku":"79505075662191408477","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":49277460644073,"sku":"92493039121341371139","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49277460676841,"sku":"21073996697080133252","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":49277460709609,"sku":"13695956249726132493","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":49277460742377,"sku":"28765086390791931134","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49277460775145,"sku":"14820026164975013741","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":49277460807913,"sku":"23801270559998408458","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":49277460840681,"sku":"26443089909268168912","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49277460873449,"sku":"20158984152843214145","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":49277460906217,"sku":"23680855257967484773","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":49277460938985,"sku":"65949841974729714589","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49277460971753,"sku":"14066391188985170469","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/edit_image_fe8a17ca-0538-4caa-b0bb-144de17182c6.png?v=1761900034"},{"product_id":"i-came-i-saw-i-forgot-what-i-was-doing-vintage-t-shirt-1","title":"\"I Came, I Saw, I Forgot What I Was Doing\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe mystery of the kitchen. 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At least you looked confident walking in there, right?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Gemini_Generated_Image_vbdmg1vbdmg1vbdm.png?v=1764409738\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Quality you can trust (even if you cannot trust your memory).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePremium Soft Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e 100% pre-shrunk fabric that feels gentle and comfortable all day long.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eRelaxed Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A roomy cut that does not restrict your movement while you retrace your steps.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching ensures this shirt lasts for years of wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"21,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTag-Free Label:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratching, just pure comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"22\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e This is the ideal gift for the grandparent who tells the same story twice, the dad who loses his glasses on his head, or anyone who appreciates a good laugh about getting older. It is funny, relatable, and undeniably true.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"23\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eI have a great memory. It is just short.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49415781384425,"sku":"27588838441348326607","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49415781482729,"sku":"24543938108544606783","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49415781581033,"sku":"11721190801890898804","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49415781679337,"sku":"30614660510804708214","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49415781777641,"sku":"28926596905472827992","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49415781875945,"sku":"69878453479378136541","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49415781974249,"sku":"20794897339370516514","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49415782072553,"sku":"64674149421935681406","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49415781351657,"sku":"22508065990167265805","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49415781449961,"sku":"19259541655906664906","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49415781548265,"sku":"30779531386341896306","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49415781646569,"sku":"25727325662870355796","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49415781744873,"sku":"23317504095919987412","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49415781843177,"sku":"14177873371880810091","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49415781941481,"sku":"23254239428049103101","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49415782039785,"sku":"93865382380665739198","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49415781417193,"sku":"25594823286488226316","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49415781515497,"sku":"19971837530907101796","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49415781613801,"sku":"20478263978383211415","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49415781712105,"sku":"93379618683535762642","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49415781810409,"sku":"27231772599821892795","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49415781908713,"sku":"19480080166977204833","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49415782007017,"sku":"12569734575784782034","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49415782105321,"sku":"24710308426013911132","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_622e27b1-c4cf-490a-b7af-4b47e19e084e.png?v=1764217285"},{"product_id":"smile-and-nod-and-act-like-i-m-listening-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Smile And Nod And Act Like I’m Listening\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe secret to a happy life? Just nod.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eHalf the time, I can't hear you. The other half, I'm just thinking about what I'm going to eat later. This t-shirt celebrates the ultimate survival skill of husbands and grandpas everywhere: The art of pretending to pay attention. It is the perfect uniform for family gatherings, long stories, and anytime you just want to zone out in peace while maintaining your polite reputation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/5db7372d-eeda-4cb7-b99e-24452c21fb76.png?v=1767609070\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePrinted \u0026amp; Shipped from USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Crisp, durable printing that speaks the truth so you don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Thick, soft, and breathable fabric that feels like a classic tee should feel. None of that thin, clingy stuff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eClassic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Generous cut through the chest and waist for maximum comfort. Not too tight, not too baggy—just right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching on sleeves and bottom hem to withstand wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"18,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTag-free Neck Label:\u003c\/b\u003e Because the only thing more annoying than small talk is a scratchy tag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePERFECT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The hilarious gift for the husband with \"selective hearing,\" the dad who falls asleep in his chair, or the grandpa who has mastered the \"Smile and Nod\" technique.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"20\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"20\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eI’m listening. (Not really).\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49984615874793,"sku":"31851228825367967868","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49984615973097,"sku":"68224844535697165159","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49984616071401,"sku":"27145301213530410479","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49984616169705,"sku":"83015269877233915220","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49984616268009,"sku":"12335273603835483828","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49984616366313,"sku":"98136432625140066232","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49984616464617,"sku":"48254529406633613925","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49984616562921,"sku":"12654484292202253025","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49984615842025,"sku":"14716686752776783805","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49984615940329,"sku":"19490590836165891581","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49984616038633,"sku":"32803498914402245157","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49984616136937,"sku":"10608779360924838811","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49984616235241,"sku":"14917889488785096760","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49984616333545,"sku":"70535731877916750279","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":49984616431849,"sku":"27727209770656003507","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":49984616530153,"sku":"16876809924130310094","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49984615907561,"sku":"28446226674710438701","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":49984616005865,"sku":"62223706373904759734","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":49984616104169,"sku":"31433135573973816388","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":49984616202473,"sku":"10465838850957289898","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":49984616300777,"sku":"23301394197699413685","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":49984616399081,"sku":"23651076619099456630","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":49984616497385,"sku":"23340161555927492954","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":49984616595689,"sku":"31180306422364814919","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_75eacf18-880b-4334-a59b-a1fe8e554674.png?v=1767618569"},{"product_id":"grumpy-nah-just-allergic-to-bullsh-t-vintage-t-shirt-2","title":"The B.S. Eliminator Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eI’m not grumpy. I just have high standards.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003ePeople call it \"grumpy.\" I call it having a low tolerance for stupidity. When you've been around as long as I have, you can smell nonsense from a mile away. And frankly, I don't have the time or the patience for it. This shirt isn't an apology; it's a warning label. It saves everyone time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/2_45641b06-6f2b-4440-9bb2-33db89efcca8.png?v=1768551671\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eReal Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from 100% Heavy Cotton. It’s thick, sturdy, and feels like a proper shirt, not that thin, clingy fabric they sell nowadays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRoomy Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A Classic Fit that gives you plenty of room in the chest and waist. No squeezing, no binding. Just comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-stitched seams because we know you wear your favorite shirts until they fall apart (which won't be anytime soon).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eClear Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The text is big and bold. You don't need reading glasses to know where I stand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSoft \u0026amp; Breathable:\u003c\/b\u003e Gets softer with every wash, just like a good pair of boots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The perfect gift for the Dad who \"tells it like it is,\" the Grandpa who doesn't sugarcoat anything, or any man who simply prefers the truth over politeness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eNo filters. No nonsense.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50024692809961,"sku":"21464184278707369456","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50024692842729,"sku":"28307842708218370393","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50024692875497,"sku":"12459072154102198377","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50024692908265,"sku":"17235476126513387036","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50024692941033,"sku":"75366385045710660001","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50024692973801,"sku":"26764572291472760398","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50024693006569,"sku":"27125976597147939174","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50024693039337,"sku":"31930500775822316423","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50024693072105,"sku":"21807395702182191343","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50024693104873,"sku":"51881743215750380175","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50024693137641,"sku":"24899412584197349722","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50024693170409,"sku":"33484088889645908400","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50024693203177,"sku":"32157893341188131510","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50024693235945,"sku":"26469387555596052020","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50024693268713,"sku":"17768996206096980830","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50024693301481,"sku":"19155997465906671747","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50024693334249,"sku":"10808368170237413302","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50024693367017,"sku":"81765362617356362954","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50024693399785,"sku":"22994997259822932283","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50024693432553,"sku":"20397510966662913953","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50024693465321,"sku":"11665013812649123363","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50024693498089,"sku":"63935577835458441696","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50024693530857,"sku":"19452560437738140998","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50024693563625,"sku":"33244150301478925035","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_b899ab07-1abf-45a6-87ea-06318310953a.png?v=1768550303"},{"product_id":"call-me-old-fashioned-i-ve-earned-it-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Call Me Old Fashioned I’ve Earned It\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSome things just get better with age. Like me.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eThey call it being \"old fashioned\" like it's a bad thing. I call it having good taste. Whether you're talking about the cocktail in my hand or the values in my head, I prefer things the classic way: Strong, simple, and honest. I've worked hard for decades to earn this drink and this peace of mind. Cheers to that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/4_118dae3d-b297-4ec9-bf69-4bf305e943c2.png?v=1771322940\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e This isn't one of those thin, flimsy shirts. It’s made from thick, sturdy cotton that feels like quality used to feel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eClassic Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Cut generously through the chest and waist. It gives you room to breathe (and room for a good dinner).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-stitched seams ensure this shirt will stick around as long as you do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSharp Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The vintage typography looks classy, not loud. It commands respect without shouting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSoftens with Time:\u003c\/b\u003e Just like a good whiskey barrel, this shirt gets softer and more comfortable with every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_11_41_05_AM.png?v=1777524146\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The sophisticated gift for the whiskey connoisseur, the Dad who insists on holding the door open, or any man who believes that the old ways were the best ways.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStay Classic. Earn Your Relaxation.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":50461995532521,"sku":"65062072394354133832","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50461995565289,"sku":"20458587003705018767","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50461995598057,"sku":"42445524154210656454","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":50461995630825,"sku":"39879848807141296163","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50461995663593,"sku":"27872831508527038689","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50461995696361,"sku":"15012638017248255878","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":50461995729129,"sku":"37703485054751293498","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50461995761897,"sku":"26240736623377573784","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50461995794665,"sku":"94022442531479764686","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":50461995827433,"sku":"64421255466881699828","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50461995860201,"sku":"25023232809614902642","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50461995892969,"sku":"57618363134190224948","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":50461995925737,"sku":"22499990410857953110","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50461995958505,"sku":"14350418781969165162","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50461995991273,"sku":"32700806240886938145","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":50461996024041,"sku":"19370926035510086395","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50461996056809,"sku":"15801899788286186519","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50461996089577,"sku":"72264921482200296606","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":50461996122345,"sku":"19675614359932637015","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":50461996155113,"sku":"36458484812389083149","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":50461996187881,"sku":"22130197316050269079","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":50461996220649,"sku":"23869366795780158139","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":50461996253417,"sku":"29523663086326573493","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":50461996286185,"sku":"26762215664680230998","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_a97715aa-9f0b-4c44-8a04-9c58f8db5527.png?v=1771320838"},{"product_id":"old-but-got-to-see-the-cool-bands-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Old But Got to See the Cool Bands\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eYour streaming playlist has nothing on my ticket stubs.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eSure, the knees might creak a little louder these days, but it's a small price to pay for having lived through the greatest era of music. While kids today are watching auto-tuned concerts on their phones, I was there in the front row. I saw the legends when they were young, loud, and playing real instruments. This shirt isn't just clothing; it's a badge of honor. It proves I was there when music actually had a soul.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/4_83b5f0ba-c77d-4c3a-8ee3-a9c786c51b8e.png?v=1772448255\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from thick, sturdy cotton. None of that thin, clingy material. It feels like a proper shirt from the good old days.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRoom to Breathe:\u003c\/b\u003e A true \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"24\"\u003eClassic Fit\u003c\/b\u003e. Generously cut through the chest and waist so you can be comfortable at a BBQ or a reunion tour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLoud \u0026amp; Clear Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The vintage typography is big and bold. People will know your musical taste from across the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for the Road:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching means this shirt will survive wash after wash, just like your favorite vinyl records have survived the decades.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratchy labels to distract you while you're playing air guitar in the living room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The perfect gift for the classic rock Dad, the Grandpa with the epic record collection, or any man who knows that the best bands have already peaked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eReal instruments. Real legends. Real comfort.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50566587384041,"sku":"18901678310366973355","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50566587416809,"sku":"13813197781253902101","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50566587449577,"sku":"37242420276621772784","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50566587482345,"sku":"23400648348885653731","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50566587515113,"sku":"19920077114977729910","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50566587547881,"sku":"34945910672873995633","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50566587580649,"sku":"28453670092506062608","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50566587613417,"sku":"34950683531039502646","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50566587646185,"sku":"31975904195471599657","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50566587678953,"sku":"18623863820210662885","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50566587711721,"sku":"90037680656917928925","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50566587744489,"sku":"19321025508646913370","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50566587777257,"sku":"27717418989504829981","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50566587810025,"sku":"25752690248590932114","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50566587842793,"sku":"11472766817911429443","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50566587875561,"sku":"68902699088971360747","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50566587908329,"sku":"69687949019860425890","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50566587941097,"sku":"32688466059002726457","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50566587973865,"sku":"18738572753229958041","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50566588006633,"sku":"10676725921601026632","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50566588039401,"sku":"25692137961410308215","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50566588072169,"sku":"25987430411751789853","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50566588104937,"sku":"15382531403323756419","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50566588137705,"sku":"30690305011917325973","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_64edf5a3-fc6b-423f-b74b-dac53f4a084e.png?v=1772443402"},{"product_id":"raised-on-vinyl-and-v8s-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Raised on Vinyl and V8s\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eReal horsepower. Real music. No touchscreens required.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eRemember when you could actually fix your own car with a standard set of tools? Remember when music had a physical groove you could see and feel? Before algorithms and silent electric motors, life was measured in RPMs—the rumble of a classic V8 and the crackle of a needle dropping on a record. This shirt is a tribute to the men who grew up in the golden age of American muscle and pure, analog sound. It’s for the guy who prefers the smell of gasoline over anything modern society is selling today.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_10_40_49_AM.png?v=1777520930\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from thick, dependable cotton. It feels like a real shirt, tough enough for an afternoon in the garage but soft enough for the living room recliner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRoom to Breathe:\u003c\/b\u003e A true \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"24\"\u003eClassic Fit\u003c\/b\u003e. Generously cut so it won't cling to you when you're bending over a carburetor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-stitched sleeves and bottom hem. This shirt works as hard as the engines you grew up tuning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLoud \u0026amp; Clear Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The retro speed-shop typography is bold and easy to read. Let them know what era built you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_10_44_49_AM.png?v=1777520988\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e No annoying, scratchy labels on the neck. Just pure comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The perfect gift for the gearhead Dad, the classic car show regular, the vinyl collector, or any man who misses the sound of a real, rumbling engine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eDrop the needle. Start the engine.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50566588727529,"sku":"84444139484201704354","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50566588825833,"sku":"19969706161437842446","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50566588924137,"sku":"32809921866845852304","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50566589022441,"sku":"25712765043266095321","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50566589120745,"sku":"22648474432883098306","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50566589219049,"sku":"11248235895659199863","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50566589317353,"sku":"31941037492208955657","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50566589415657,"sku":"69803864913970962351","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50566588760297,"sku":"28150050795740326819","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50566588858601,"sku":"32292412517542578414","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50566588956905,"sku":"28639240142834044998","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50566589055209,"sku":"29238196193119906923","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50566589153513,"sku":"23994480966407510469","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50566589251817,"sku":"26229401534940886189","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50566589350121,"sku":"11002453342330834864","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50566589448425,"sku":"32495963981212682716","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50566588694761,"sku":"15132280782836041838","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50566588793065,"sku":"28652729888963326038","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50566588891369,"sku":"33823492804248655706","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50566588989673,"sku":"10059705469028759133","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50566589087977,"sku":"23258938029864256549","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50566589186281,"sku":"29335556583676980704","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50566589284585,"sku":"29580081656981007084","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50566589382889,"sku":"30676503637307651904","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2192337c-412a-4b9e-b579-c01e64c4d723.png?v=1772443706"},{"product_id":"getting-old-ain-t-for-sissies-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Getting Old Ain’t For Sissies\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSurviving your youth was just the warm-up.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eLet's be honest: Waking up with a new mystery pain every day isn't for the faint of heart. Hearing your knees pop louder than your breakfast cereal? That takes serious grit. Getting older is a full-contact sport, and this shirt is your uniform. Featuring a crowned skull, it’s a badass badge of honor for the man who takes his medicine, laughs at the aches, and refuses to go quietly. You've earned every single gray hair—wear them like a crown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/3_6926a1ff-938f-454e-b4cf-3c1f1cd9a407.png?v=1773140648\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e No thin, see-through, flimsy material here. This is thick, sturdy cotton that feels like real armor against the day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRoom to Breathe:\u003c\/b\u003e A true Classic Fit. Cut generously so it doesn't cling to your chest or waist. It lets you move (at whatever speed you choose).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching on the sleeves and bottom hem. It will probably outlast the warranties on your replacement joints.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBadass Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The vintage skull and bold text look sharp, fade-resistant, and let everyone know you're not one to mess with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e Because your skin is sensitive enough without a scratchy label digging into the back of your neck.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The ultimate gift for the tough Dad, the veteran Grandpa, the aging biker, or any man who handles getting older like an absolute boss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eYou survived this long. Wear the crown.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50617024938217,"sku":"14458432094353435112","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50617024970985,"sku":"20985188452504659582","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50617025003753,"sku":"15390952443253595026","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50617025036521,"sku":"18122751765081678267","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50617025069289,"sku":"15925788189867408061","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50617025102057,"sku":"10136123091120940576","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50617025134825,"sku":"13634290974879850053","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50617025167593,"sku":"69973845525957977567","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50617025200361,"sku":"24192202922652124896","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50617025233129,"sku":"55099379733466003348","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50617025265897,"sku":"88713679367780164993","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50617025298665,"sku":"13325894395410999548","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50617025331433,"sku":"13127084590411869456","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50617025364201,"sku":"20151987630762616001","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50617025396969,"sku":"29359632389592971582","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50617025429737,"sku":"71093168010802903886","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50617025462505,"sku":"63808428248259561677","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50617025495273,"sku":"26085257726699947878","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50617025528041,"sku":"45306044032316827833","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50617025560809,"sku":"23535010859660742148","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50617025593577,"sku":"21960242144547881422","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50617025626345,"sku":"63940910537313089913","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50617025659113,"sku":"18985870839056345163","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50617025691881,"sku":"11476097542709242136","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_56c81621-f759-4f71-8c7f-9175e6733b4b.png?v=1773136090"},{"product_id":"it-was-better-on-vinyl-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"It Was Better On Vinyl\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eStreaming is convenient. But it has no soul.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eYou remember the ritual. Carefully sliding the record out of its sleeve, placing it on the turntable, and waiting for that warm, crackling sound when the needle drops. Nowadays, people just tap a screen and listen to compressed, soulless files through tiny plastic earbuds. This shirt is for the purists. It’s a statement that you know the difference between just hearing a song and actually \u003ci data-index-in-node=\"413\" data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003efeeling\u003c\/i\u003e the music. Yes, it was better on vinyl. And no, you won't apologize for saying so.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/3_04566cf9-3100-4e0c-bbd7-42f3f78ead26.png?v=1773219297\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Just like a good vintage record, this shirt has real weight to it. It’s made from thick, dependable cotton that feels like quality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003eRoom to Breathe:\u003c\/b\u003e A true Classic Fit. Generously cut through the chest and waist. You can sit comfortably in your favorite listening chair for hours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitching ensures this shirt will hold up through years of washing and wearing. It's not a disposable trend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_11_56_02_AM.png?v=1777524996\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003eVintage Print:\u003c\/b\u003e Bold, retro typography that looks as classic as the albums sitting on your shelf.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratchy neck labels to ruin the mood when you're deeply immersed in your favorite track.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_11_52_56_AM.png?v=1777524997\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The perfect gift for the audiophile Dad, the Grandpa with a legendary record collection, or any man who insists that music peaked in 1978.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eDrop the needle. Turn it up.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":50617096012009,"sku":"11158097875362789748","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50617096044777,"sku":"14786407426714488198","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50617096077545,"sku":"32688610751468571611","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":50617096110313,"sku":"15824904894496749712","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50617096143081,"sku":"78109692134582380269","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50617096175849,"sku":"27278551270393087434","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":50617096208617,"sku":"23636212801694382838","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50617096241385,"sku":"27490206966300584198","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50617096274153,"sku":"10925894888340545515","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":50617096306921,"sku":"18598835486673111236","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50617096339689,"sku":"28122692413333186431","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50617096372457,"sku":"32605568702868784582","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":50617096405225,"sku":"60928057503677770088","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50617096437993,"sku":"12826528016926492871","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50617096470761,"sku":"93139955812648207017","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":50617096503529,"sku":"18768179062443749441","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50617096536297,"sku":"26039643834150799278","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50617096569065,"sku":"28127553958376521832","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":50617096601833,"sku":"24230752156019767686","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":50617096634601,"sku":"24986194445208022146","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50617096667369,"sku":"17928955578576377541","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":50617096700137,"sku":"30759420752465745113","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":50617096732905,"sku":"17108578320264608185","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50617096765673,"sku":"11617001837678839683","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_0aa0fdcf-d62f-4601-9405-1018a98925c1.png?v=1773139050"},{"product_id":"too-old-for-your-bullshit-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Too Old For Your Bullshit\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eMy filter broke years ago. Now I just wear this shirt.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003eThere was a time when you had to bite your tongue, smile politely, and listen to people talk in circles. Those days are officially over. You’ve reached the glorious age where your time is precious, your patience is zero, and you really don't care who knows it. This shirt is a highly effective, wearable warning sign. It saves you the trouble of explaining that you are, in fact, entirely too old for their nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/4_7f7f8b8d-91c5-49d9-8ea4-e6a4e7c749d0.png?v=1773463268\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from thick, dependable cotton. It feels like a real, substantial shirt—not that paper-thin stuff they try to sell nowadays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003eRoom to Breathe:\u003c\/b\u003e A true \u003cb data-index-in-node=\"24\" data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"\u003eClassic Fit\u003c\/b\u003e. Generously cut through the chest and waist so you can relax in your favorite chair without feeling restricted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"15,2,0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitched sleeves and bottom hem. It will outlast your tolerance for small talk by decades.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"15,3,0\"\u003eLoud \u0026amp; Clear Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The vintage, distressed typography is bold enough to be read from a safe distance (which is exactly where you want people to stay).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"15,4,0\"\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e No itchy neck labels to add to your daily list of annoyances.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The ultimate gag gift for the grumpy Dad, the retired Uncle who speaks his mind, the outspoken Grandpa, or any man who has officially run out of patience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003eZero patience. Maximum comfort.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50630807912681,"sku":"26923530175977542719","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50630808010985,"sku":"28416838570520234584","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50630808109289,"sku":"66733613638661697784","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50630808207593,"sku":"96421374289570022629","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50630808305897,"sku":"33806803023047197901","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50630808404201,"sku":"26852905064156569729","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50630808502505,"sku":"27400646740801890822","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50630808600809,"sku":"24323775442205249037","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50630807879913,"sku":"29612635590458470256","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50630807978217,"sku":"16545946290800103160","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50630808076521,"sku":"26792022225256769589","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50630808174825,"sku":"26092585931392700621","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50630808273129,"sku":"27808608076614106927","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50630808371433,"sku":"10946622218437760806","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50630808469737,"sku":"19403656317034871419","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50630808568041,"sku":"30850682475562360405","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50630807945449,"sku":"19546856593861482208","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50630808043753,"sku":"67132726863696119814","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50630808142057,"sku":"26832626904683720872","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50630808240361,"sku":"54290790932909309526","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50630808338665,"sku":"98829004130052229666","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50630808436969,"sku":"56156536960492942231","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50630808535273,"sku":"32764409200055821595","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50630808633577,"sku":"68903510271830115773","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_e416f616-2a74-4c0a-baf1-231c64d4f5d6.png?v=1773463394"},{"product_id":"retired-outlived-my-100-000-mile-warranty-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Retired Outlived My 100,000 Mile Warranty\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eThe parts might squeak, but the engine is still strong.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eLet’s be honest: Your original factory warranty expired a few decades ago. The joints need a little more oil in the morning, the headlights aren't as sharp as they used to be, and you definitely make some weird noises when you stand up from a chair. But guess what? You are still running. This shirt is a badge of honor for the retired man who has been around the block, over the hill, and has the dents to prove it. You aren't getting older; you're just becoming a classic model.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/1_3fff2300-59f0-4825-bbe5-16664a101482.png?v=1774086077\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from thick, dependable cotton. It feels like a real, sturdy shirt that can handle whatever your retirement schedule throws at it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003eRoom for the Chassis:\u003c\/b\u003e A true Classic Fit. Generously cut through the chest and waist so you can relax without feeling restricted (perfect for when the \"check engine\" light comes on after a big dinner).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitched sleeves and bottom hem. This shirt is durable enough to go another 100,000 miles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003eLoud \u0026amp; Clear Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The vintage, distressed typography looks like a classic mechanic's sign.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e No itchy neck labels to distract you while you're taking your afternoon nap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The absolute best gag gift for a retirement party. Perfect for the Dad with bad knees, the Grandpa who loves fixing cars, or any classic guy who is proud of his high mileage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003eHigh mileage. Low maintenance.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50660564304105,"sku":"32344541086899738954","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50660564336873,"sku":"23559341251505732544","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50660564369641,"sku":"56536830478230376344","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50660564402409,"sku":"39377952537727250831","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50660564435177,"sku":"11682297383964672715","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50660564467945,"sku":"25434387336584126739","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50660564500713,"sku":"10159820427839810329","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50660564533481,"sku":"20022768107514089171","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50660564566249,"sku":"15425451862923410103","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50660564599017,"sku":"60547127698221531352","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50660564631785,"sku":"14780996029490146964","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50660564664553,"sku":"23574831377587821089","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50660564697321,"sku":"19237991905678740886","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50660564730089,"sku":"28728311420827733057","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50660564762857,"sku":"29931666539968648545","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50660564795625,"sku":"15613033192289801476","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50660564828393,"sku":"84424209495887421341","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50660564861161,"sku":"32879782973231484932","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50660564893929,"sku":"20708514492083555015","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50660564926697,"sku":"16154006870550434549","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50660564959465,"sku":"34540431078561651073","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50660564992233,"sku":"19349178454348733987","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50660565025001,"sku":"27373331811582420546","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50660565057769,"sku":"91876989909033001814","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_1521cb44-869a-4870-a88a-b484c6d70998.png?v=1773806172"},{"product_id":"retired-rebuilt-body-contains-aftermarket-parts-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Retired Rebuilt Body Contains Aftermarket Parts\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"29\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"29\"\u003eLike a fine vintage, but with expensive new parts.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"30\"\u003eWho says only cars get custom upgrades? Whether it's a new titanium knee, a shiny new hip, or a little extra hardware holding things together, you are officially a rebuilt, limited-edition model. This shirt is for the unstoppable woman who survived the surgery, dominated her physical therapy, and kept her sense of humor intact. It’s a hilarious, wearable trophy that tells the world: Yes, I have aftermarket parts, and yes, I am practically bionic now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"30\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/1_0d8b6f0c-f358-40b0-80ff-36fd7fbafd6e.png?v=1774085291\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"32,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"32,0,0\"\u003eComfort is Key:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e100% Heavy Cotton. It's substantial enough to feel cozy but breathable enough to keep you comfortable all day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"32,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"32,1,0\"\u003eRoom to Heal:\u003c\/b\u003e A true Classic Fit. Generously cut through the chest and waist. It won't cling tightly to your body or irritate sensitive post-surgery areas. Easy to put on and take off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"32,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"32,2,0\"\u003eBuilt for Recovery:\u003c\/b\u003e Durable double-needle stitching means this shirt will hold up through endless washes and physical therapy sessions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"32,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"32,3,0\"\u003eGets the Laughs:\u003c\/b\u003e Be the favorite patient at the clinic. It's guaranteed to crack up your doctor and nurses.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"32,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"32,4,0\"\u003eTag-Free Neck:\u003c\/b\u003e No scratchy, annoying labels. You have enough going on; your clothes shouldn't bother you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"33\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"33\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The perfect care package addition! Give it to your Mom after her joint replacement, the \"bionic\" Nana, or any tough woman who handles getting older like an absolute queen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"34\"\u003e\u003cb data-index-in-node=\"0\" data-path-to-node=\"34\"\u003eUpgraded. Unstoppable. Uniquely you.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50661625037033,"sku":"95362729182058035126","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50661625135337,"sku":"10490134669757818623","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50661625233641,"sku":"22158450454498313228","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50661625331945,"sku":"18819850792372332879","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50661625430249,"sku":"23203193243517193454","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50661625528553,"sku":"15812519397337209976","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":50661625626857,"sku":"20958706255322732551","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":50661625725161,"sku":"13332105325866973012","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50661625004265,"sku":"26333997985106787897","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50661625102569,"sku":"68201441662814291317","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50661625200873,"sku":"10852757861675260988","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50661625299177,"sku":"21885904741526648077","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50661625397481,"sku":"26105801776588181261","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50661625495785,"sku":"98118139383979198617","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":50661625594089,"sku":"14559813748481873306","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":50661625692393,"sku":"19518825394880120637","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":50661624971497,"sku":"15860545647100955931","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":50661625069801,"sku":"33753599596968493303","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":50661625168105,"sku":"32101845615386135657","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":50661625266409,"sku":"69502348097710919616","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":50661625364713,"sku":"14812643519370623916","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":50661625463017,"sku":"54662181008410262675","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":50661625561321,"sku":"11864655532023451320","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":50661625659625,"sku":"86068374851387464509","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_e0db764e-f432-46f1-aea7-9f1ac9efc131.png?v=1773828774"},{"product_id":"retired-full-time-ceo-of-doing-nothing-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"Retired. Full-time CEO of Doing Nothing\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eI finally got the corner office. It’s my living room recliner.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eYou survived decades of alarms, rush hour traffic, and meetings that definitely should have been emails. You put in the work. Now, you’ve finally reached the top of the corporate ladder. Meet your new uniform: The \"Full Time CEO of Doing Nothing.\" Your daily agenda now consists of taking a nap, checking the mail, and deciding what time to eat lunch. This shirt lets everyone know exactly who is in charge of your schedule (spoiler: it's you), and that you are currently not accepting any new projects.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/1_c9052f06-d0a7-4632-b756-9e79940f9fd8.png?v=1774258936\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from thick, dependable cotton. It feels like a real, substantial shirt—the kind of quality a CEO deserves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRoom for the Boss:\u003c\/b\u003e A true Classic Fit. Generously cut through the chest and waist. It gives you plenty of room to breathe, relax, and enjoy that mid-afternoon snack without feeling restricted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt for the Long Haul:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitched sleeves and bottom hem. It will last long into your well-deserved retirement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eClear Authority:\u003c\/b\u003e The vintage typography is bold and easy to read. It establishes your title immediately so no one asks you to do any chores.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e No itchy neck labels to distract you during your very important executive naps.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The absolute best gag gift for a retirement party! Perfect for the newly retired Dad, the Grandpa who has mastered the art of relaxing, or any man who is currently enjoying his ultimate promotion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eClock out permanently. Wear the title proudly.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50677063483625,"sku":"46973017501154745294","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50677063516393,"sku":"19104275604413868889","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50677063549161,"sku":"21087001188253232066","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50677063581929,"sku":"52630480585793950268","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50677063614697,"sku":"28499607814713690556","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50677063647465,"sku":"56124155157905333791","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50677063680233,"sku":"19549590197921081400","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50677063713001,"sku":"18199492124737453354","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50677063745769,"sku":"34025291272257722651","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50677063778537,"sku":"14698205520527740056","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50677063811305,"sku":"15144436368731564228","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50677063844073,"sku":"19900261750299987675","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50677063876841,"sku":"34331184976978380674","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50677063909609,"sku":"15987446521397388602","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50677063942377,"sku":"17953675749856127951","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50677063975145,"sku":"31499344343552045957","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50677064007913,"sku":"31198134028591562555","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50677064040681,"sku":"28346191321973394882","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50677064073449,"sku":"33256576565802438903","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50677064106217,"sku":"30135930419374628181","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50677064138985,"sku":"14837922179686976822","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50677064171753,"sku":"95473962427792651977","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50677064204521,"sku":"25133668327708599040","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50677064237289,"sku":"27279229967358279090","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_72934926-ca03-47de-8e02-5d5153d33019.png?v=1774257263"},{"product_id":"i-dont-creak-i-provide-my-own-soundtrack-vintage-t-shirt","title":"\"I Don't Creak. I Provide My Own Soundtrack\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"11\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eEvery movement is a symphony. Or at least a percussion solo.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003eLet’s be honest. Standing up from a low chair sounds a lot like stepping on bubble wrap these days. Your knees pop, your back cracks, and your ankles click. But you aren't falling apart; you're just incredibly musical! This shirt is for the man who refuses to complain about his aches and pains. Instead, he owns them. You aren't creaking; you are simply providing your own personalized entrance music wherever you go. It’s a hilarious badge of honor for anyone who handles getting older with a perfect sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/1_52a36caa-23fb-404d-b07c-ab4a16ef79bb.png?v=1774365123\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Heavy Cotton:\u003c\/b\u003e Made from thick, dependable cotton. It feels like real armor to protect those musical joints of yours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eRoom to Move (and Creak):\u003c\/b\u003e A true Classic Fit. Generously cut through the chest and waist so you can stretch and bend without feeling restricted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Double-needle stitched sleeves and bottom hem. It will outlast whatever joint supplements you're currently taking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLoud \u0026amp; Clear Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The vintage typography is bold and easy to read. It explains the noises before anyone even has to ask.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTag-Free Comfort:\u003c\/b\u003e No itchy neck labels. You have enough things irritating you already; your shirt shouldn't be one of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"15\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eGREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/b\u003e The absolute best gag gift for the Dad with bad knees, the Grandpa who groans every time he sits down, or any man who is aging with a fantastic sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLoud joints. Proud spirit.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":50685057335529,"sku":"31669617401770173580","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50685057368297,"sku":"30385985780351241203","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50685057401065,"sku":"12521270257829398963","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":50685057433833,"sku":"17072124920218640741","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50685057466601,"sku":"30003933240970382423","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50685057499369,"sku":"26269761406417030627","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":50685057532137,"sku":"14966917923793657679","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50685057564905,"sku":"20450574142409777333","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50685057597673,"sku":"10943156886938806688","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":50685057630441,"sku":"26237616026106920686","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50685057663209,"sku":"29893325041415492982","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50685057695977,"sku":"19072978283319877524","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":50685057728745,"sku":"17496590765995767979","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50685057761513,"sku":"16911999140909533426","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50685057794281,"sku":"21239481621842710316","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":50685057827049,"sku":"21884917933098949367","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50685057859817,"sku":"20482902097798344113","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50685057892585,"sku":"27191014388392534646","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":50685057925353,"sku":"17485706577738973858","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":50685057958121,"sku":"18925541238121019534","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":50685057990889,"sku":"76014649358919070841","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":50685058023657,"sku":"31241660640394368024","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":50685058056425,"sku":"12142486898265932867","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":50685058089193,"sku":"26174272907195667185","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_52ad0117-10ac-4aa3-a261-da2a9e21274f.png?v=1775022363"},{"product_id":"reel-men-dont-retire-fishing-tee","title":"\"Reel Men Don’t Retire – They Just Fish More\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSome guys count down the days to retirement. You counted down to the morning bite - every single day, no alarm required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis funny fishing retirement shirt is for the man who didn't stop working. He just changed job titles. New office: wherever the fish are. New dress code: whatever's waterproof. New boss: nobody.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/3_a73f8f41-12dc-420f-80a3-688c14ca4247.png?v=1776422159\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium soft cotton: \u003c\/strong\u003ePreshrunk, broken-in feel from the first wear. Not stiff, not sheer. The kind of shirt you reach for on a Monday because Monday doesn't mean what it used to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVintage-style print:\u003c\/strong\u003e Distressed graphic that looks like it's been through a few seasons already. Because the best things usually have.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex classic fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Relaxed enough for the dock. Decent enough for the diner after.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirect-to-garment print: \u003c\/strong\u003eStays sharp through the wash. The fish stories might stretch, but this design won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA: \u003c\/strong\u003eMade here. Like a lot of things worth keeping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA perfect retirement gift\u003c\/strong\u003e for the dad, grandpa, or husband whose idea of a perfect Tuesday involves a rod, a cooler, and nobody asking him anything. Great for Father's Day, a retirement party, or a birthday for any man who measures time in seasons and tides.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRetired from work. Never from the water.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":50887786299625,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50887786332393,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50887786365161,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":50887786397929,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50887786430697,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50887786463465,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":50887786496233,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50887786529001,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50887786561769,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":50887786594537,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50887786627305,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50887786660073,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":50887786692841,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50887786725609,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50887786758377,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":50887786791145,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50887786823913,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50887786856681,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":50887786889449,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":50887786922217,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50887786954985,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":50887786987753,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":50887787020521,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50887787053289,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_9785fff2-a279-4cc9-a96a-2c2a19c76fbb.png?v=1776331652"},{"product_id":"better-on-records-vinyl-tee","title":"\"Better On Records\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eTwelve inches of vinyl, a needle, and forty minutes of uninterrupted music. No shuffle. No algorithm. No \"you might also like.\" Just an artist who sequenced those songs in that order for a reason - and you who sat down and listened to all of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis vinyl music t-shirt for men is for the guy who still thinks in albums. Who knows that a great side B takes patience to find and pays back double when you do. Music got faster. More convenient. More disposable. He didn't follow it there. Some things are just better on records - and he's been right about that long enough to wear it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/4_a979686a-b337-4ea8-8ccf-e41cbe132c7e.jpg?v=1777543554\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium soft cotton:\u003c\/strong\u003e Preshrunk, lived-in feel right away. Soft enough for a Saturday at home with the turntable going. Which is a perfectly good Saturday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVintage-style distressed print:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"Better On Records.\" Looks like it came out of a crate at a record shop that knew what it was doing. The good kind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex classic fit, S–5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Relaxed through the chest and shoulders. Wears right whether he's at a record fair or just in the garage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirect-to-garment print: \u003c\/strong\u003eWon't crack or peel after washing. The message holds. So does his opinion on streaming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA: \u003c\/strong\u003ePress here. Plays well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA natural record collector shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e For the dad, grandpa, or husband whose vinyl collection is organized and whose opinions on it are strong. Solid for a birthday, Father's Day, or any occasion that calls for something with more soul than a streaming gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe's been saying it for years. Now he's got the shirt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":50927748382953,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50927748415721,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50927748448489,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":50927748481257,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50927748514025,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50927748546793,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":50927748579561,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50927748612329,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50927748645097,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":50927748677865,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50927748710633,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":50927748743401,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":50927748776169,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50927748808937,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":50927748841705,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":50927748874473,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50927748907241,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":50927748940009,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":50927748972777,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":50927749005545,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":50927749038313,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":50927749071081,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":50927749103849,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":50927749136617,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_66ce65aa-9079-447a-b25f-4194e861a1a4.png?v=1776939503"},{"product_id":"raised-on-records-refined-by-time-tee","title":"\"Raised On Records. Refined By Time\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBefore the algorithm decided what you'd hear next, you decided. You walked to the record store on a Saturday. You looked through crates. You read the back of the sleeve standing there in the aisle. You paid for something you hadn't heard yet because the cover looked right and the label checked out. That's not nostalgia. That's a skill.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis t-shirt is for the guy shaped by that world. Not just the music - the patience it required. You couldn't skip to the hook. You sat with the quiet parts. You let a song go somewhere before you decided how you felt about it. Time does the same thing to a man, if he lets it. Raises him on something real. Refines what's left.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_12_20_36_PM.png?v=1777526763\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% US-grown cotton, 5.3 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e Substantial weight, soft hand. Not flimsy, not stiff. The kind of fabric that improves with every wash, like most things worth keeping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo side seams, tubular knit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cleaner line, less bulk. Sits flat and wears comfortable all day without pulling or bunching at the sides.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShoulder tape reinforced: \u003c\/strong\u003eTwill tape across the back shoulder seam holds its shape over time. This shirt isn't going to stretch out on you. Neither are you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTear-away label: \u003c\/strong\u003eNothing scratching at the back of your neck. A small call, right one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNavy, Black, or Forest Green. Sizes S–5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Three colors, eight sizes. Printed and shipped from the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_12_29_03_PM.png?v=1777527066\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA music lover shirt that lands right as a gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e For the dad, grandpa, or husband who grew up when music took effort to find and that effort made it mean more. Solid for a birthday, Father's Day, or Christmas - for the man whose taste was never accidental.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRaised on the real thing. You can tell.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50930249138409,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50930249236713,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50930249335017,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50930249433321,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930249531625,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930249629929,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930249728233,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930249826537,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50930249105641,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50930249203945,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50930249302249,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50930249400553,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930249498857,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930249597161,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930249695465,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930249793769,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50930249171177,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50930249269481,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50930249367785,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50930249466089,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930249564393,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930249662697,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930249761001,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930249859305,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_206da83e-410c-4b70-b6da-89534b1eff44.png?v=1777019984"},{"product_id":"faded-by-time-full-of-life-vintage-tee","title":"\"Faded By Time. Full Of Life\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThere's a version of you in every decade. The one who showed up at twenty-two not knowing much but working hard anyway. The one at forty who figured out what mattered. The one now who stopped explaining himself to people who weren't paying attention in the first place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis vintage t-shirt for older men doesn't try to summarize all of that. It doesn't have to. \"Faded By Time. Full Of Life.\" Four words that say the thing nobody else is bothering to say: that wear isn't the same as worn out. That a man with some mileage on him is more interesting than one fresh off the lot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/6_b8d38bdf-c2f4-40c9-a64a-06bcfc8a54ce.jpg?v=1777002757\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% US-grown cotton, 5.3 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e Medium-weight, substantial without being heavy. Holds its shape, holds its color, holds up the way things built right tend to do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo side seams:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cut from tubular knit. Cleaner line, less fabric waste. Sits flat and comfortable all day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShoulder tape reinforced:\u003c\/strong\u003e Twill tape across the back shoulder seam. Doesn't stretch out, doesn't lose its shape. Frank would call it overbuilt. That's a compliment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTear-away label:\u003c\/strong\u003e Nothing scratching the back of your neck. Small thing. Still matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNavy, Black, or Forest Green. Sizes S–5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Something for every build. Printed and shipped from the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA quiet, meaningful gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e For the dad, grandpa, or husband who's been around long enough to wear a statement like this without blinking. Lands well for a birthday, Father's Day, or any occasion where the right words matter more than a flashy bow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFaded by time. Still the most interesting man in the room.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50930250481897,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50930250514665,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50930250547433,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50930250580201,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50930250612969,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50930250645737,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50930250678505,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50930250711273,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50930250744041,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50930250776809,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50930250809577,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50930250842345,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930250875113,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930250907881,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930250940649,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930250973417,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930251006185,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930251038953,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930251071721,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930251104489,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930251137257,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930251170025,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930251202793,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930251235561,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_4397911e-a70a-489b-aad5-fff9731f86dc.png?v=1777002757"},{"product_id":"retired-rebuilt-vintage-tee","title":"\"Retired \u0026 Rebuilt. Runs on Coffee, Spite and Replacement Parts\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eForty-some years of showing up. Early. On time. Through the nonsense and the weather and the quarterly reports nobody asked for. You kept the machine running. Now the machine runs on its own terms - coffee in the morning, spite when required, and whatever parts still have mileage left on them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis funny retired t-shirt for men isn't about slowing down. It's an honest inventory. Rebuilt, not retired out. Some components have been replaced. The core still holds. You know which parts those are - and so does everyone who's worked alongside you long enough to find out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_12_18_24_PM.png?v=1777541416\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium soft cotton:\u003c\/strong\u003e Preshrunk, comfortable from the first wear. Not stiff, not thin. Built for a man who's done putting up with things that don't work right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVintage-style distressed print:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"Retired. Rebuilt. Runs On Coffee, Spite and Replacement Parts.\" Reads like a service record. Wears like a badge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex classic fit, S–5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Relaxed fit through the chest and shoulders. Good for the garage, the porch, or anywhere a man with full operational status ends up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirect-to-garment print:\u003c\/strong\u003e Holds up through the wash. The message doesn't degrade. Neither do you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/strong\u003e American-made. Runs well. Low maintenance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/Image_Apr_30_2026_04_10_56_PM.png?v=1777541416\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA grumpy old man shirt that hits right as a retirement gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e For dad, grandpa, or the husband who put in the decades and came out the other side with a sense of humor about it. Works for a retirement party, a birthday, or Father's Day - for any man who'd rather laugh at the mileage than pretend it isn't there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStill running. Ask nicely and he might tell you what's been replaced.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50930254840041,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50930254872809,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50930254905577,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50930254938345,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50930254971113,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50930255003881,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50930255036649,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50930255069417,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50930255102185,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50930255134953,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50930255167721,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50930255200489,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930255233257,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930255266025,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50930255298793,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930255331561,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930255364329,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50930255397097,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930255429865,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930255462633,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50930255495401,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930255528169,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930255560937,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50930255593705,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_9c07f9f2-fa26-49b2-99c4-73a3c6b0a57e.png?v=1777001200"},{"product_id":"call-me-old-fashioned-ive-earned-it-tee","title":"\"Call Me Old Fashioned. I’ve Earned It\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"standard-markdown grid-cols-1 grid [\u0026amp;_\u0026gt;_*]:min-w-0 gap-3\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSomewhere along the way, \"old fashioned\" became an insult. You noticed. You also noticed who was using it as one, and decided that wasn't the group whose opinion you were going to lose sleep over.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"standard-markdown grid-cols-1 grid [\u0026amp;_\u0026gt;_*]:min-w-0 gap-3\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis old school values t-shirt for men is for the guy who still thinks a few things through before he does them. Who understands that most new ideas are old ideas with better marketing. Who's watched enough cycles come and go to know which parts of the old way were worth keeping - and kept them anyway, without making a fuss about it. Call it what you want. He's earned the right to answer to it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/77268635-b88a-4f05-900b-285c9913b9e6.png?v=1779617996\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"standard-markdown grid-cols-1 grid [\u0026amp;_\u0026gt;_*]:min-w-0 gap-3\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% US-grown cotton, 5.3 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e Medium weight, holds its shape, softens right with wear. Not the kind of shirt that falls apart when something gets hard. Appropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo side seams, tubular knit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cleaner fit, sits flat. Less is more. He's been saying that for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShoulder tape reinforced:\u003c\/strong\u003e Twill tape across the back seam. Doesn't stretch out with time. Some things hold their shape. This is one of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTear-away label:\u003c\/strong\u003e No tag scratching at the back of the neck. Somebody thought that one through. Finally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNavy, Black, or Forest Green. Sizes S–5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Three solid colors. Eight sizes. Printed and shipped from the USA, where that still means something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"standard-markdown grid-cols-1 grid [\u0026amp;_\u0026gt;_*]:min-w-0 gap-3\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA straightforward birthday or Father's Day gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e For the dad, grandpa, or husband who has strong opinions, backs them up, and doesn't particularly care whether that makes him old fashioned. He's heard it before. He considers it a compliment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"standard-markdown grid-cols-1 grid [\u0026amp;_\u0026gt;_*]:min-w-0 gap-3\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEarned the label. Wears it well.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50955302338793,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50955302371561,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50955302404329,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50955302437097,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50955302469865,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50955302502633,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50955302535401,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50955302568169,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50955302600937,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50955302633705,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50955302666473,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50955302699241,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50955302732009,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50955302764777,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50955302797545,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50955302830313,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50955302863081,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50955302895849,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50955302928617,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50955302961385,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50955302994153,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50955303026921,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50955303059689,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50955303092457,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_8f6b0556-a07c-4757-8023-202e82d36707.png?v=1777525719"},{"product_id":"99-percent-dont-care-sarcastic-tee","title":"\"There's a 99% Chance I Don't Care\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eMost conversations end the same way they start: with something that didn't need to be said. He's noticed. Been noticing for about forty years. At some point a man does the math and decides his words are better spent elsewhere - which, increasingly, means not spent at all.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis funny sarcastic t-shirt for men handles the communication. He wears it. People see it. Nobody asks. That's the whole system, and it works beautifully. Not rude - efficient. There's a difference, and he's been making it for long enough to know which one he is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/5_e99e50e8-e75a-43a3-a838-036eb6fae81e.png?v=1777889920\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% soft cotton, preshrunk:\u003c\/strong\u003e Comfortable from the first wear. Not stiff, not thin. The kind of shirt a man reaches for when he wants to be comfortable and say something without opening his mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVintage-style distressed print:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"There's a 99% Chance I Don't Care.\" Reads clear from across the room. Which is exactly the right distance for most conversations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex classic fit, S–5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Relaxed through the chest and shoulders. Looks right whether he's on the porch or at the hardware store. Or wherever he ends up. Probably without telling anyone first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirect-to-garment print:\u003c\/strong\u003e Won't crack or peel. The message holds up through the wash. Unlike his tolerance for small talk, which did not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/strong\u003e The 1% he does care about. Every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA natural funny gift for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The grumpy dad, grandpa, or husband who communicates mostly through expressions and has been getting his point across just fine. Works for a birthday, Father's Day, or any occasion where the right shirt says the thing the recipient has been thinking for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNinety-nine percent done explaining himself. One hundred percent comfortable with that.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50966705176809,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50966705209577,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50966705242345,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50966705275113,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50966705307881,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50966705340649,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50966705373417,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50966705406185,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50966705438953,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50966705471721,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50966705504489,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50966705537257,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50966705570025,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50966705602793,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50966705635561,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50966705668329,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50966705701097,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50966705733865,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50966705766633,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50966705799401,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50966705832169,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50966705864937,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50966705897705,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50966705930473,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_e342e81b-531b-44eb-be5d-6dd5770776f5.png?v=1777887704"},{"product_id":"oh-look-nobody-funny-attitude-tee","title":"\"Oh Look! Nobody Gives a Shit\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eHe's watched people post about caring. Seen them talk about caring. Sat through entire meetings designed around the premise that everyone in that room cared. And then watched what happened when nobody was looking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis funny attitude t-shirt for men is for the guy who stopped pretending to be surprised. \"Oh Look! Nobody Gives a Shit\" isn't cynicism. It's pattern recognition. After sixty-some years of watching how things actually go - not how people say they'll go - a man develops a sense for the gap between what gets said and what gets done. That gap is, it turns out, pretty funny once you've made your peace with it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/6_fc1c4a84-4c60-4415-80da-20221b511d6c.jpg?v=1777974639\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% US-grown cotton, 5.3 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e Medium-weight, smooth, holds its shape. The kind of shirt that doesn't make a fuss. Appropriate company for a man who doesn't either.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVintage-style distressed print:\u003c\/strong\u003e The message lands clean. Reads from across the room. Which is close enough for most conversations these days.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo side seams, tubular knit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cleaner fit, sits flat. Less is more. He's known that for a while.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShoulder tape reinforced:\u003c\/strong\u003e Twill tape across the back seam. Doesn't stretch out with time. Consistent. Unlike most things he's been promised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTear-away label:\u003c\/strong\u003e Nothing scratching at the back of the neck. Somebody finally got that right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNavy, Black, or Forest Green. Sizes S–5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Three solid colors, eight sizes. Oeko-Tex certified. Printed and shipped from the USA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA sharp birthday or Father's Day gift for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The dad, grandpa, or husband who's been noticing the gap between what people say and what people do for decades now and finally has something to wear about it. Gets the point across without him having to say a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe noticed. Been noticing for years. Now it's on a shirt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50969925484777,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50969925517545,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50969925550313,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50969925583081,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50969925615849,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50969925648617,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50969925681385,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50969925714153,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50969925746921,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50969925779689,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50969925812457,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50969925845225,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50969925877993,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50969925910761,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50969925943529,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50969925976297,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50969926009065,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50969926041833,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50969926074601,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50969926107369,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50969926140137,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50969926172905,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50969926205673,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50969926238441,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_4a9f3db9-0601-4de0-8c37-6a5123f3eaad.png?v=1777973058"},{"product_id":"allergic-to-bs-funny-old-man-tee","title":"\"Grumpy? Nah. Just Allergic to BS\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eHe tried. That's the part nobody gives him credit for. For decades, he sat through it. Smiled through it. Nodded through it. Every meeting that could have been a memo. Every opinion nobody asked for. Every explanation of something he already knew. He put in the effort. Turns out the effort was working against his own biology.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis funny old man t-shirt for men finally names the condition correctly. It's not a personality flaw. It's an allergy. And like any allergy, it gets harder to manage with prolonged exposure - which, after sixty-some years of living around people, has been considerable. The good news: it's manageable. Avoid triggers when possible. When not possible, wear the shirt. Let it do the explaining.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/6_68565e64-56a3-45e8-9f12-87266750dec0.jpg?v=1777982054\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% US-grown cotton, 5.3 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e Medium weight, soft hand, holds its shape. Built for daily wear by a man who's had enough daily encounters to fill several medical journals.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVintage-style distressed print:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"Grumpy? Nah. Just Allergic to BS.\" Reads clean. Makes its point without him having to open his mouth. Which is better for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAvailable in Sand, Sport Grey, or Black:\u003c\/strong\u003e Three low-maintenance colors for a man who's already managing enough. Sand and Sport Grey for the guy who wants it subtle. Black for the guy who doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo side seams, tubular knit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cleaner fit, sits flat. Less fabric working against him. He appreciates the metaphor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShoulder tape reinforced, tear-away label:\u003c\/strong\u003e Holds its shape. Nothing scratching at the back of his neck. Small mercies count when the larger ones are scarce.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSizes S–5XL. Oeko-Tex certified. Printed and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Eight sizes, responsibly made, domestic. The details a man with high standards actually cares about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA medically accurate birthday or Father's Day gift for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The dad, grandpa, or husband who tried the diplomatic approach for decades and has the reaction time to prove it didn't take. His family already knows the diagnosis. Now he's got documentation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProlonged exposure not recommended. Wear as directed.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":50971342897385,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":50971342930153,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50971342962921,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":50971342995689,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":50971343028457,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50971343061225,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":50971343093993,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":50971343126761,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50971343159529,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":50971343192297,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":50971343225065,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50971343257833,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":50971343290601,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":50971343323369,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50971343356137,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":50971343388905,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":50971343421673,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50971343454441,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 4XL","offer_id":50971343487209,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":50971343519977,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50971343552745,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 5XL","offer_id":50971343585513,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":50971343618281,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50971343651049,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_dce42a9e-da72-426e-a861-a4ab7649730f.png?v=1777981065"},{"product_id":"better-on-records-vinyl-lover-tee","title":"\"Better On Records\" Vinyl Music Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eA vinyl record can't be cleaned up in post. What goes into the groove comes back out of the groove - the breath before a note, the room the musicians were standing in, the slight imperfection at the end of side two that was always there on the original pressing. No algorithm smoothed it out. No one decided you didn't need to hear that part.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis vinyl lover t-shirt for men is for the guy who noticed. Who figured out early that the difference between a record and a file wasn't just format - it was honesty. Vinyl tells you what actually happened in that room. Everything since has been a negotiation with convenience. He didn't take that deal. Not with his music, not with much else either.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/6_87db39a1-ce63-47f2-a9e2-3a097db35f31.jpg?v=1778062321\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e100% US-grown cotton, 5.3 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e Substantial, smooth, built for daily wear. A shirt that doesn't overclaim and doesn't underdeliver. Same standard he holds everything else to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVintage-style distressed print:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"Better On Records.\" Says it simply. Means it completely. The kind of statement that doesn't need a footnote.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNavy, Black, or Forest Green:\u003c\/strong\u003e Three colors that don't try too hard. He appreciates that in a shirt the same way he appreciates it in people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo side seams, tubular knit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cleaner construction, sits flat. Less is more. He's been living by that principle since before it was a design trend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShoulder tape reinforced, tear-away label:\u003c\/strong\u003e Holds its shape over time. Nothing scratching at the back of the neck. Built right, which means built to be forgotten while you're wearing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSizes S–5XL. Oeko-Tex certified. Printed and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Eight sizes, responsibly sourced, made here. The details that matter to someone paying attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA record player shirt that makes a natural gift for: \u003c\/strong\u003eThe dad, grandpa, or husband who's been paying attention to quality his whole life - in music, in tools, in the people around him. Lands right for a birthday, Father's Day, or Christmas for any man with a turntable and strong opinions about what it plays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVinyl doesn't lie. Neither does he.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50974501798121,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50974501830889,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50974501863657,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50974501896425,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50974501929193,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50974501961961,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50974501994729,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50974502027497,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50974502060265,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50974502093033,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50974502125801,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50974502158569,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50974502191337,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50974502224105,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50974502256873,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50974502289641,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50974502322409,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50974502355177,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50974502387945,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50974502420713,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50974502453481,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50974502486249,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50974502519017,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50974502551785,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_1_5e6811f1-5bb3-47bf-8687-e2bd84f6cd51.png?v=1778059750"},{"product_id":"raised-on-all-of-them-vintage-tee","title":"\"Raised on All of Them\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThree stations on the dial. You listened to all three.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eRock from the older kid down the street. Country from your grandfather's truck. Motown from every diner you ever walked into. Nobody handed you a genre and said \"pick this one.\" You figured it out yourself, song by song, summer by summer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis vintage music nostalgia shirt is for the man who never needed a playlist. The one who still knows the B-side, still remembers what the DJ said right before the good one came on, and still doesn't understand why anyone would choose just one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/7_931bdac9-77ce-4321-ad73-f6c486026797.jpg?v=1778144222\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium soft cotton, preshrunk:\u003c\/strong\u003e Worn-in feel from the first wash. Not stiff, not thin. Right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRetro design in classic earth tones:\u003c\/strong\u003e Looks like it came out of 1974 and aged well. Because that's the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex classic fit, sizes S to 5XL:\u003c\/strong\u003e Room enough for a man who's earned a little comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirect-to-garment print:\u003c\/strong\u003e No cracking, no peeling. The design outlasts whatever's on the radio now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable:\u003c\/strong\u003e Doesn't require special treatment. Neither does he.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted and shipped from the USA:\u003c\/strong\u003e Where all the good music came from anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLooking for a birthday or Father's Day gift for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The dad, grandpa, or husband who grew up before streaming decided what was worth hearing? This funny music shirt for men is the one he'll actually wear. Not fold up and forget. Wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome men pick a lane. He picked the whole road.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Oldmanism","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":50978626306281,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":50978626339049,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":50978626371817,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":50978626404585,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":50978626437353,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":50978626470121,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":50978626502889,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":50978626535657,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":50978626568425,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":50978626601193,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":50978626633961,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":50978626666729,"sku":null,"price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":50978626699497,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":50978626732265,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":50978626765033,"sku":null,"price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":50978626797801,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":50978626830569,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":50978626863337,"sku":null,"price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":50978626896105,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":50978626928873,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":50978626961641,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":50978626994409,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":50978627027177,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":50978627059945,"sku":null,"price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/image_2_164751a7-de37-4822-959a-cf4c26d57f56.png?v=1778143177"},{"product_id":"drank-from-the-hose-vintage-tee","title":"\"We Drank From The Hose and Survived\" Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe backyard was your gym. The creek was your pool. The hose on the side of the house was your water fountain, and it tasted like rubber and summer and nobody cared.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis funny nostalgia shirt for men is for the guy who grew up before parents tracked their kids by phone. You had one rule: be home when the lights came on. Everything in between was yours to figure out. Somehow you did. Somehow you all did.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0675\/7682\/4041\/files\/6_9d20d265-72fb-4a17-baee-134d6d996d57.jpg?v=1780569883\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium soft cotton, preshrunk:\u003c\/strong\u003e Comfortable from day one. 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